Character

Sam Says: My Philosophy for a Happy Life, Sam Berns (10/23/96 – 1/1014)

What a guy!

Sam, YOU are the man… Thank you! What an inspiring young man!

You are/were the perfect example of how anyone can overcome ANY obstacle. You taught us where to put our attention, energy and focus. You understood the importance of setting goals, not letting circumstances dictate your attitude and the value of positive relationships.

The thing you (the reader) should know is this, Sam insisted that above all, he was HAPPY! Yet, here was a guy suffering from an incurable, debilitating disease.

HAPPY.

“I’m HAPPY!” He would say again and again – and that he wants to change the world. The funny thing about changing the world (as I’m sure you recognize) is you first have to change yourself, then influence another– and, another and so on. The process is rather slow to start but catches steam pretty quickly. With 2 Million plus views – his message isn’t going unnoticed.

Sam’s Secrets to a HAPPY LIFE:

#1) Focus on things he CAN DO vs. the things he can’t do
He might not be able to ride a roller coaster but he could read comic books
He might not be running a marathon but he could watch his favorite sports teams
He couldn’t carry a snare drum but they found a way to work around the obstacle!

Q: What do you want to accomplish and think you can’t because of a “real” or made up obstacle?

#2) Surround yourself with people you want to be around
Sam recognized and appreciated his supportive family and friends.
He loved his great friends and called themsleves “band geeks”
He would insist that the music they created together was bigger than any disease and allowed him to transcend his condition
this happened BECAUSE of other people – great relationships!
MUSIC served as an escape and made him feel good.

Q: What are you doing to appreciate and express love for your family and closest friends? How are you acknowledging and appreciate your mentors and community?

#3) Keep moving forward.
Sam shared a Walt Disney quote “we keep moving forward opening new doors and doing new things.” Sam believed keeping your eyes on the horizon helped to keep his spirits up. Perhaps it was an upcoming family trip or ball game.

Now, there may be some “confused” people who might judge this mindset and accuse it of not being present or in the “now” (not zenlike perhaps) if he’s constantly looking forward. However, they would be a bit off base since one of the great values in setting goals is it helps to bring your present into focus and alignment. For instance, if I have a marathon I’m looking forward to my present will be more focused on good choices. And, there is another terrific benefit. With any future event, the seed of “HOPE” is always planted and this helps us through those moments of great challenge. As Sam said, “A bright future ahead may get me through some difficult times.”

Always remember, where there is hope in the future, there is power in the present.

Sam’s words again, “I always try to have something to look forward to.”

Q: “what are you looking forward to?”

Finally, Sam insists that YOU shouldn’t waste energy feeling bad about yourself… accept it /acknowledge it and then move past it. “Being brave isn’t supposed to be easy.”

“I don’t waste energy feeling bad for myself.
I surround myself with people i want to be with.
and i keep moving forward!”

Finally, Sam ends it with this little gem and you get a sense just how he looks forward to events and leave’s us with,
“Never miss a party if you can make it!”

The REAL “F” Word

It’s pretty funny if you consider that out of all the possible words in the English language starting with “F” only one word, (that word) is known as the “F” word. (noted in below audio!) However, I’d like propose a NEW “F” word– the NEW “F” word. It may not be as fun to shout —- but it holds far more value.

We FAIL far more than we might ever hope to do the other F word anyway… On average, I’d venture to guess that we fail at least ten times a day. Some of YOU much, much more.
; )

We turn on the wrong street. Purchase the wrong product. Pronounce a word incorrectly. Say something we shouldn’t have said or do something we wish we wouldn’t have done. #FAIL!

So, what’s the point?

I came across a brilliant quote from former General and Secretary of State, Colin Powell and, I absolutely love it. First because he dispels rather quickly this garbage about “SECRETS to success”. Then, he gets to the meat of it…

“There are no secrets to success. Success is the result of preparation, hard work and learning from our failures.
~Colin Powell

Learning from our failures…. Brilliant.

My friend, you and I have (already) and will learn far more from our failures than we will ever learn from our successes.

Another notable personality (and brain) to back up that statement.

“Success is a horrible teacher.” ~Bill Gates

Simply put, we NEED THE INFO.

When you take ACTION and FAIL– you’re getting information (energy) back and redirecting you in new directions, thoughts, actions. You must have the feedback. Did you know that a guided missile is really NEVER on perfect target UNTIL it hits the target. Throughout the entire distance it travels it’s making adjustments, correcting itself until the last second!

You are no different! You have to take action — to fail. To be reidrected and you must conntinue making adjustments and ultimately believe you’ll hit your target. YOU MUST TAKE ACTION!

This is what Napoleon Hill meant when he said, “Action is the real measure of intelligence.” Then, there is our buddy Tony Robbins who put it brilliantly when he said, “You haven’t really made a decision until you’ve taken ACTION!”

Take the shot, miss the shot (celebrate if you want) just know that another attempt will get you that much closer! “You miss 100{17e3bfd9a07c0de986581ed5697b485698805caa8353107ff911cf28c852f548} of the shots you don’t take.” ~Wayne Gretzky

This is how you hit your target! This is how you achieve your goals! This is why failure exists! Enjoy the new “F” word.

#failfaster

~mws

(ADULT CONTENT WARNING!!!) this is an old audioclip I’ve run across… it’s about the original/other “F” word and is both educational and entertaining. However, if you are adverse to profane language please avoid.

One Day To Live, The Immaterrial and an Exercise of a Lifetime

It’s great to hear that you have your “dream” list of goals and material “toys”. It’s pretty exciting to think about the big house you will own and the 4 high performance or luxury cars, maybe even that ridiculous 135 ft yacht, etc. And, there is no reason you shouldn’t have that list. But, there is a different list…

Do me (and you) a FAVOR right now. Consider for a moment, what you would do if you found out you had only ONE day to live. Do you have any idea how you’d spend it? And, here’s the kicker, with WHO would you spend those last precious hours and minutes?

You see, as unfortunate a scenario as that might be, it takes the often muddied waters of our priorities and values and bring them to the fore with pristine clarity. The fact is, your dream mansion would be worthless, your luxury cars or yacht would all have no redeeming value as you said your final goodbyes.

My guess is this; upon finding out you had only A SINGLE DAY TO LIVE, you’d be immediately reaching out to the one’s you love the most. You’d be sharing your deepest feelings of gratitude for their love and friendship and support over the years.

In short you’d dive into LOVE and GRATITUDE. Love for all those who’ve supported you throughout the years and gratitude for the opportunities and relationships that enriched your life.

One day to live would mean
No BullSh*t…. No wasted time
No fake gestures… little to no concern about what other people think

One day to live would mean:
Focusing on the people you love. Sharing your most meaningful thoughts and ideas.
You’d probably identify some regrets and missed opportunities for time squandered—for losing focus on what was truly important in your life. You’d probably even do some last minute mending of fences and going out of your way to reconcile— to leave this world in peace.

The Reward?
If you have truly processed this mental exercise for all that it’s worth you will have a great idea of WHO and WHAT is most important to you and WHY.

Create that list now. Who are the people? What are they experiences and why are they meaningful. Have there been opportunities lost? What are they, can you re-write the outcome. It all begins with clarity.

12 Lessons in Character – from a Puppy

puppies photo courtesy Terry Bain, Flickr

“I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the “lower animals” (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me.” ~Mark Twain

Perhaps one of the very best way I know to simultaneous test and develop your CHARACTER is to adopt a puppy.

I’ve now had two dogs and I can attest to the powerful impact dog ownership has had on the development of my character. My first dog, Hercules was a mini-Lab I adopted when I was 22. He was about eight weeks old at the time. That was perhaps the scariest and greatest commitment of my life to that point. He passed away 15 years later and thanks to him so many great fortunes crossed my path – starting with my wife.

When I adopted ‘Herc’ I was still in college, no job, no real responsibility. Continue reading →

Kindle KDP Promotion Goes LIVE TODAY! Top Ten eBook; Self Esteem, Personal Transformation & Depression

“The lazy man does the hardest work.” ~Proverb

Why NOT give it a try?

If the goal of writing the book is to help people, why not give it away— at least for a short period of time (like TODAY for instance), right?

Last year, just before the holidays I received an incredible email. A woman wanted to purchase not just one copy of the paperback The 3 C’s of Success or 10 copies but between 30 – 50 copies” — she ended up buying 45 copies of The 3 C’s of Success” as GIFTS, and then gave them away to all her managers at her company.

Continue reading →

Leadership—An Every Day Activity

Leadership.

Most people hear the term LEADERSHIP and envision great leaders like American football coaching legend Vince Lombardi or Winston Churchill or Martin Luther King, etc. The only challenge with that viewpoint it is outwardly directed; as in — great leaders are OUT —>THERE ->
(not me)!

What did you envision when I started with the word, LEADERSHIP?

Did you envision yourself? Perhaps you envisioned what you wish your boss was like?

What I’ve learned over the last 30 years is that leadership is simple but not necessarily easy and that it is built upon daily actions, decisions, and habits. Leadership demands integrity and integrity is built one brick at a time, day in — day out.

Yes! Leadership is an everyday activity based upon personal integrity. Leadership starts with TRUST (see video above), and is a reflection of our personal responsibility. Every day, each of us have the opportunity to be in harmony with our values (integrated) and therefore we can strengthen our leadership or, we may unconsciously and in some cases, even consciously, choose to be out of integrity / disharmony with our values.

But make no mistake, we (not others) are casting the vote daily Continue reading →

Expectations or Reality?

Great lesson from Stephen Covey (7 Habits of Highly Successful People) about self-fulfilling prophecy and human potential. If you are a PARENT, COACH, TEACHER – basically, ANYONE who deals with kids, you can NOT afford to miss this message. I’ve personally witnessed so many teachers and parents unfortunately limit their kids’ with unintended and believed to be innocent statements.

Notice in this video the deep significance and impact of OUR/YOUR “FRAMING” present “REALITY” whether it’s social or even personal, (You talking to yourself).

The gist is really this; ANYONE’S POTENTIAL is as much their “REALITY” as their past behavior. To put this another way, when you belittle another (OR, more likely yourself) you not only inhibit that potential for growth you dangerously shift/alter and change your present reality by altering your FUTURE expectations.

Since NOW is the only moment YOU, Continue reading →

Arnold’s 6 Secrets of Success and The 3 C’s

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Despite his latest marital misgivings… I think this is a fantastic or (FAHN-Tastique- Arnold speak) VIDEO (content wise — the cinematography could use some work 🙂 ). Arnold touches on the most elemental and important aspects that have helped to DRIVE HIM and his success. It’s also revealing to see/understand his mental framework/principles responsible for forging his character.

From my vantage point, it’s interesting to see where his “6 Keys” overlap and intersect with “The 3 C’s of Succcess”

Arnold’s 1st Key: Trust Yourself
This is interesting because you’ll notice this message is ALL over this website (see this site’s ABOUT page) and of course the same message resonates throughout the book “The 3 C’s of Succcess. So, which “C” does “Trust Yourself” fall into? Most likely, CHARACTER – that is belief in yourself. There is definitely a little bit of CREATIVITY as well in his first key. That is, in order to trust yourself you must have sparked some unique, creative thoughts!

Arnold’s 2nd Key: Break the Rules
We (you) must think outside the box. Arnold’s point is, don’t break the law but be sure to break the rules. What is the point, he asks of doing everything like everyone else? This obviously falls under Creativity but no doubt contains a little Character. That is, without the confidence to break the rules you won’t likely do it.

Arnold’s 3rd Key: Do not be afraid of failure.
Translated: Courage which is the foundation of CHARACTER!

Arnold’s 4th Key: Ignore the Naysayers:
Critically important and is rooted as well in CHARACTER!

Arnold’s 5th Key:
WORK YOUR BUTT OFF!!! There is simply no way around it – he says, “No Shortcuts”. This is (again) both Character and Completion. I love the part about “someone out there RIGHT NOW, is working hard, getting smarter, etc.” No pain – no gain.

Arnold’s 6th key:
GIVE BACK. GIVE BACK. GIVE BACK. NOTHING is more rewarding then giving back. This constitutes Character.

Summary:
His content is spot on. You must believe you CAN do it! You must be unique/think different/break the rules! You can NOT fear failure! There will always be naysayers— ignore them entirely! And, without HARD WORK you will NOT get where you want to be! You must work hard! Finally, nothing is more rewarding than giving back!

Those are his exceptional foundational “rules” for success if you will. Yes, there is a bit of irony there given his current / most recent situation with his wife and that these are “rules” (if you follow). But please know, there is no secret to success and unfortunately there is no 4 hr work week.

So, here is a man (ARNOLD) who’s experienced terrific levels of success. You can hear the knowledge, experience and wisdom in his words. Whether it was Body building, Hollywood, Politics. The TERMINATOR kicked-ass because he was FOCUSED and BUSTED his ass. His record speaks for itself and there are great lessons to learn even from his current (personal) situation with Maria. As a public figure (unfortunately) personal situations do not tend to remain personal.

Always remember, as the great coach John Wooden used to say, “Talent can get you to the TOP but it is CHARACTER that keeps you there.”

Until next time. To your succcess (w/ 3 C’s!)

~mws

Steve Jobs, Synchronicity, Connecting the Dots & Trust

UPDATE!!!

This post was originally written in early 2008 and was updated after he had his liver transplant in 2009. In light of Mr. Jobs passing, this YouTube video of his commencement address has gone viral – (10Million hits later). We originally shared this video when it was in the low 6 figures. I felt it was important to bring this back to the TOP of the POST pile.

If you haven’t seen this video, it’s extremely worthwhile and the words below are designed to challenge your personal reflection.

Recall Aristotle’s famous quote: “Wisdom is an equal measure of Experience plus Reflection.

E + R = W

ENJOY!

Stanford Commencement Address 2005.
Mr. Steven Jobs; Monster-Entrepreneur, Apple & Pixar CEO, Super-Hero Extraordinaire

“Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward.” ~Kierkegaard

Every time I see this speech I’m awed by the number of gems Steve shares. I find it interesting to overlay these anecdotes against the backdrop of my personal experiences. His tales of opportunity, following his heart, continuous learning, failure, humility, and of course, mortality are both profound and inspiring.

However, I ask you, “How unique are they?” Just how rare are these “coincidences?”

The question I encourage you to ask is, “where are the parallels?” Surely you recognize you don’t have to be CEO of a couple fortune 500 companies to notice that, ultimately, the song remains the same; that these synchronistic events happen daily for everyone. The real question is not, “how rare is this?” But rather, “How aware am I to the events and all the possibilities?”

Think about it. One day Jobs is walking eight miles to eat at a Hare Krishna Temple – the next, he’s revolutionizing the computing industry. A slight exaggeration perhaps. However, the point is not to be lost, those were two very real “stations” in his life separated only by awareness, purity of intent and of course time.

Continue reading →

Guest Post: This is where the story really begins…

“What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.” ~T.S. Eliot

It was a beautiful spring day, the sun was out, the birds were singing, squirrels were playing in the yard, and I Brian Webb a recent college graduate was deciding my future. I was at home in Maysville, Kentucky discussing what I should do with my life and what endeavors I should partake. The decisions were made that I should move to Cincinnati and live with my father and work in the IT field with his company as a mentor/internship. With my education, it was believed that I can move up to management. With that decided, I drove back to Lexington content on my decision.

“Life tends to happen when you are making plans.” I arrived at my apartment in Lexington, Kentucky and decided to lay down on the couch to take a nap. However, I couldn’t sleep, I had a strange headache coming on stronger and stronger. Bam! Bam! BAM!!! Felt like a nail was being driven in the back of my skull. The pain was excruciating! So, painful in fact that I got sick and passed out.

My brother came rushing to my side and called 911. The ambulance delivers me to the ER in a coma. End of story.

Now, this is where the adventure really begins…. Continue reading →

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