Character

So, YOU Want To Be Successful? Here’s a thought… Define It!

Words of wisdom all around
but no one ever seems to listen
They talk about their plans on the paper
Building up from the pavement
mm hm
there’re shadows from the scrapers on the pavement
mm hm
It’s enough to make me sigh
but that don’t seem like it would make it feel better
The words are all around
but the words are only sounds
and no one ever seems to listen

– Jack Johnson “Traffic in the Sky”

Do you have a definition of success?

I’ve taught hundreds of students for over five years. Every time I ask this simple question: “Who wants to be successful?” every single person raises his hand. At this point, I actually have inverted the question to simply be, “who does NOT want to be successful.” Just to verify that not a single person will raise their hand. Obviously, it is unanimous, EVERYONE WANTS TO BE SUCCESSFUL. This of course is where the “fun” begins…

Then, I ask them to define success.

Can you say deer in the headlights… pretty much a room full of blank stares. The students kind of squirm in their seats, perhaps a little concerned I might pin them down and actually ask them for their definition.

Wild isn’t it? Throughout the years, I’ve discovered that only about of my students actually have a working definition of success.

You may have noticed this too? Everyone wants to be successful, yet, how many have defined it?

There seems to be lots of people searching high and low for “answers”- for “shortcuts” to this elusive “success.” You’ve seen the headlines and the advertisements, no doubt:

“Be Outrageously Happy in Three Easy Steps”
“Seven Secrets to Riches”
“Be the Success You’ve Always Dreamed Of”

The crazy thing is . . . if you ask them what “success” truly is they – just like 97 percent of my students — would probably be at a loss for words.

Try it sometime. Ask someone to define “success” for you. You’ll probably be received with a blank stare. If not, you’ll get some vague definition that sounds something like:

“Success is waking up with a smile on my face.”
“Success is knowing that someone loves me.”

Now, this brings me to the question of the day: How in the world can YOU hit a target when YOU can’t see it . . . or worse yet, does not even exist?

Creating your personal definition of success

Welcome to Exercise #1. You guessed it! Time for you to write out your definition of success!

Think about it. It seems only logical that the first step to success is to at least to resolve in your mind what exactly success is. What it ought to look and feel like! You must first have a definition for it if you plan to attain it!

Ideally, your definition of success should be no longer than two or three sentences. In fact, the shorter the definition, the better. One time I asked a person to give me his personal definition of success. He gave me a description a mile long. “Success,” he said, “is when I’m happy, my dog is fed and when my girlfriend is happy and we have a lot of money and no financial worries.”
what!? – why not just add when the cat is sleeping and the baby isn’t crying!

I could probably fill several posts here on success theory alone. However, for now, what is most important is to identify an acceptable definition – one that has stood the test of time. Here, humbly submitted for your consideration is the one I teach in every class…

SUCCESS = CREATING YOUR IDEAL FUTURE.

Be sure to leave comments and share your thoughts. Really looking forward to some quality success definitions posted here. Let’s see it!

Cheers!

– Mitch W. Steel

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The Gift of Responsibility or Responsibility is JOB #1!

“If you do the things you ought to do–when you ought to do them–the day will come when you can do the things you want to do–when you want to do them!”

– Zig Ziglar.

Anyone can make an excuse-and many people do. You, from this point forward are different. You have the mindset that anything is achievable and that taking total responsibility for where you are right now and where you are headed is Job #1!

Making excuses–whether conscious or unconscious–may be the number-one reason for people’s poor character development, and therefore the perpetual and futile attempt to realize their ideal future – their success.

NOTHING IS EASIER THAN MAKING EXCUSES. NOTHING IS HARDER THAN TAKING RESPONSIBILITY.

If something is hard–if it’s a challenge–you are on the right track. And, yes, that is a belief system. However, it is my direct experience that when beliefs are aligned with timeless principles; that is, where belief systems intersect with timeless principles such as, challenge creates growth – desires and dreams tend to manifest much more quickly.

In Dr. Dyer’s book “The Power of Intention” he speaks of something very similar – which is aligning your personal character traits and actions with that of the “Creator”. In the book he lists seven characteristics; creativity, love, kindness, beauty, receptivity, abundance, expansiveness. As it relates to your dreams unfolding – a critical alignment component for you is to be sure both your beliefs and character traits align with these timeless principles. I highly recommend you read this book.

Why do the Marines and other armed forces throw so much adversity; literally, difficulty after difficulty at their young recruits? Two reasons; one is to quickly identify at what starting point the cadets character is and two, because they understand that this is the quickest way to develop a stronger character.

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Procrastination and the Monkey Brain

“Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.”

– William James

This should help you understand the forces at play that both control and direct your behavior and subconscious thinking as it relates to getting things done and procrastination. While the presentation itself could use a little improvement, the message is great. Notice how many times he mentions “HABIT” toward the end.

A few key points, the importance of visualizing the outcome and even the steps being completed! The idea of thinking about thinking (meta-cognition). Planning for resources and the process not just the goals. Recognizing and anticipating setbacks and roadblocks – actually, planning for failure and knowing how you are going to respond!

Finally, the ability to recognize there is no perfect time to BEGIN! To get STARTED! Whether it’s giving money to charity or writing your book or planning your goals for the upcoming year or quarter. NOW is always the best time and he shares a Napoleon Hill quote to underscore that.

Enjoy!

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So you think you are too busy to watch this video? What a joke!

The Law of Forced Efficiency states, “You never have enough time to do everything, but you ALWAYS have enough time to accomplish the most important things.”

– Brian Tracy

I know, you’re a VERY BUSY person…. Really, I know, you are “super busy” and don’t have enough time to watch a video that is almost an hour long yet has the information and insight that is very likely to transform your life.

I get it… sort of.

Guess what my friend, BUSY is just another form of LAZY.

I just heard you say, “WHAT!?” “Did he just call me lazy?”

Listen, if you’re too busy then what you’re really saying is your just too LAZY to identify the most important things in your life. There is a great “Law” of efficiency that Brian Tracy talks about (he’s funny that way because so many things are “Laws” and he has what seems to be about 100 different laws). Having said that, the man is spot on.

I’m going to repeat that last part because it’s SO important, “you ALWAYS have enough time to accomplish the most important things.”

So you say, “They are ALL Important” well, if that is the case then you have another “challenge”. The first part is to understand the Effectiveness Quadrants as taught be Stephen Covey and the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Check out this chart (below) and makes sure you understand it! The UPPER RIGHT, known as quadrant #2 is for: Preparation, Prevention, Values clarification, Planning, Relationship Building, True recreation, Empowerment.  Right there in Q2 is TRAINING, LEARNING, SHARPENING THE SAW (ie; this VIDEO!)

If you’re “too busy” you living in Q1. Crises mode! Find time/MAKE time for Q2 Today, you can being with this video! ; )

I absolutely love the above video, get out a pad of paper and a pen and start taking notes. Consider this your quadrant 2 exercise for the day. Don’t think about it, don’t put it off, MAKE the time now and sharpen the saw.

Here are just a few gems:

  • Nothing changes until you change
  • Set a better sail – don’t hope for a better wind
  • Invest first – spend later
  • Develop a different financial philosophy
  • Attitude and money
  • How to spend every dollar
  • Importance of keeping a journal
  • Two incredible personal development book
  • Purpose (the real purpose) of goals
  • Work harder on yourself than you do on your business (sounds a lot like what is said in the 3 C’s of Succcess) Recall, the Mitch W. Steel Classic, “You are working SMARTER when you are working HARDER on your CHARACTER.” (I have to give me some props) I was very pleased to hear Jim say that!
  • YOU change and everything changes

MUCH more… (your job is to watch, write & learn!)

Enjoy!

– mws
BTW: Final thoughts here…( i think) I will review the website analytics for this post in particular in say a month. With that info I’ll be able to determine how many people actually watched the entire video. Do you care to venture a guess? My guess is it’ll be less than (closer to maybe even less). What’s fascinating about that of course is it’s the same that believe in themselves, that set and achieve their goals. The same who are striving to create their ideal future with persistence, faith and hard work. The other well, they are looking for shortcuts or, sadly, they don’t believe they have what it takes. I hope I’m wrong and surprised by the numbers.

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Flexibility & The Adaptability Factor – Part Deux

“It’s not the strongest of the species nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.”

– Charles Darwim

Change Happens.

NOW is a great time to determine how flexible and adaptable you are.

It’s hilarious to me that many people can’t wrap their head around PD (personal development) as though there’s a sort of stigma attached to it which likely originated from the designation of the “Self-Help” category publishers are so fond of using. What’s ‘funny’ about it of course is these are the same people who think they are perfect (the problem is everyone else) and yet, for some reason they’re not sure why they don’t have more ’success’ in life.

Who knows? All I know is that without the constant pursuit of personal development/improvement to outpace the compounding effects of change along with the mindset to embrace and accept the challenges said change brings about, my life would be very different.

“It takes humility to seek feedback. it takes wisdom to understand it, analyze it, and appropriately act on it.

– Stephen R. Covey

I’m truly of the school of thought that Covey speaks of. Consider his above quote, Humility – the ability to seek feedback, to listen, be aware and self-correct by appropriately acting. To refine one’s Character (the 2nd C). Such action requires humility and intelligence but most importantly as Darwin points out, it requires the adaptability to change!

Hence, the reason I’m seemingly addicted to PD (personal development) to “Sharpening the Saw” (Covey’s 7th Habit of the “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”) and helping others to create such awareness. Hence, the creation of “The 3 C’s of SUCCCESS,” a motivational eBook outlining a simplified approach of the three essential requirements for ANY person to create their ideal future. All contained within the context of constant self-improvement.

By pursuing personal development one: a) acknowledges and embraces the concept that life is not static. That they must learn, adapt and grow just to keep pace with the world (at the very least) and to excel in the best case scenario. And, b) helps to remind people that if they continue to do the same things they did yesterday, last week or last year (even if they were successful) they are in for a rude awakening.

We are curious creatures indeed!

The evidence is all around us. Take the auto, photo or publishing industries as a few basic examples. What once worked for any of these – what once made each super successful and provided large profits has now become obsolete!

The old products, processes and methodologies won’t suffice. Change not only happens – it’s inevitable. TIME TAKES NO PRISONERS! So why – prêt ell, do you think you can continue to do the same things you did yesterday, last week or last year and achieve favorable results?

The U.S. education system is another brutal reminder of the powerful affects of change when we fail to adapt! Today, nearly 50 of our high school kids drop out! Frankly, I don’t blame them. We are teaching our kids the same curriculum the same way we did in the 1950s!

Pardon my French, but that is retarded in the truest definition of the word. (definition: 1. To keep delaying; to continue to hinder; to prevent from progress; to render more slow in progress; to impede; to hinder; as, to retard the march of an army; to retard the motion of a ship; — opposed to accelerate). Our education system is retarded.

Today’s high school kids are smarter, more technologically savvy and in some cases better equipped for the present work environment perhaps, than many of the teachers. Yet, you’d never know it due to the large numbers of kids who drop out. I have personal experience with a super bright 17 year old that was so bored by the curriculum and the uninspired methods of teaching that he dropped out. He then went on to ace the Science portion of the G.E.D. with very little preparation.

I could go on about the education system and how ‘broke’ it is. Yet, this isn’t designed to slam the teachers who are just doing what is asked of them and are severely underpaid. It’s simply another illustration of the importance to acknowledge the powerful affects of change and the obligation we ALL have to keep up with it – to simply adapt or perish.

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Competition is GREAT and why losing is often FAR BETTER

“If you ain’t first, you’re last. You know, you know what I’m talking about? “

– Ricky Bobby

“Show me a good loser and I’ll show you a loser.”

– Vincent Lombardi

“Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation.”

– Michael Jordan

My morning run typically ends at a park. Given that summer has just started more than a few dozen kids can be found running around and playing on any given morning. In between sets, (pushups/pullups) I notice that seemingly everywhere kids are competing; racing on foot, racing on bikes (one tiny kid had a bike that didn’t even have peddles and was racing!) everywhere I looked kids were playing tag, soccer, etc. Then, it spilled out of my mouth; jaw dropped, ipod blaring in my ears, “duh, (i said to me) competition IS natural.”

News flash! It’s human nature to compete. However, somewhere between when I was six years old and my daughter turned six we became “NICE”. You know, no winners and no losers. “Don’t worry Jimmy, just feel good.” Sarah, (who scored 3 goals) looks confused as we explain why she didn’t actually win. “there are no winners Sarah.”

While there are many larger societal challenges at the moment this one is on my radar. When and WHY did we decide we could reverse thousands of years of competitive evolution and teach kids NOT to compete? Does anyone think Sarah really believes there are no winners? Who thinks the Olympic games are going to disappear anytime soon? Guess what, kids know better instinctively.

Our attempts to shelter our kids from this NATURAL and very REAL existence of competition (yes, there are actually winners and losers) is doing them a disservice and I think our collective good intentions are misdirected. First, it’s the wrong message. we shouldn’t be telling them there are no winners or losers. We should be teaching them and coaching them about HOW to compete, HOW to win, and yes, HOW to lose and even WHY competition is healthy and positive.

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“I Like Myself, I Like Myself, I Like Myself” Try the “I like Myself” Challenge for Just One Week. (If You Dare)

“Your self-image is either your life-handicap or your auto-pilot for winning!”

– Dr. Dennis Waitley

I recently heard Brian Tracy, a living legend in the personal development space, give a talk to a group of entrepreneurs and out of his mouth came this statement, “All of your achievement ultimately, will be directly related to your self-confidence—directly related to how much you “LIKE YOURSELF”.

At first I’ll admit, I thought that was fairly obvious. However, (as I write in the The 3 C’s of Succcess) I’ve learned that a critical trait of all successful people is to remain OPEN and examine ALL new ideas and possibilities. For some strange reason I couldn’t shake this idea so I decided it was time to test is myself. Time for me to practice what I preach and write about, right?

The shocking truth is that the more I tested it, either verbally or  silently to myself, I realized some fairly powerful insights. Here they are and I encourage you to test this for yourself for ONLY ONE WEEK. What do you have to lose? You will learn a lot and it’s FREE! ; )

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The Belief Tree: Why Success is Binary

“Whether you think you can or you can’t, you are right.”

– Henry Ford

PROLOGUE

Lately, I’ve been contacted repeatedly about a “starting point” as though there was some green circle to go stand on to start the game (of life). Well, unfortunately, while there is NOT a single one per se—  there is fundamentally above all, A MINDSET of BELIEF, RESPONSIBILITY (ownership) and SELF-CONFIDENCE (can you win this game or not?)

That is a question you should ASK NOW. In fact, stop everything you are doing and just ask that simple question… “CAN YOU WIN THIS GAME?” Yes, then of course you need to define what “winning” is and hopefully it’s a little better than Charlie Sheen’s.

Enjoy!

This quote, in my estimation, may be Ford’s best invention. Perhaps, even better than his invention of the automobile for mass production.

It explains succinctly, and yet very accurately, the vital role of BELIEF in the workings of your life. You simply can’t be successful in any endeavor if you don’t first start with the proper mindset – a belief in your ultimate success.

Yes, your mindset – how you view the world and your place within it -and your belief “system” (related paradigm) control your ability to reach your intended target. And, here’s the kicker–FROM THE VERY START!

Our core beliefs fall into two MASTER categories which are not unlike the core underlying “boot” records in computer terminology – which are called Master Boot Records.

(excerpt “SUCCCESS, The 3 C’s”, The Success eBook by Mitch W. Steel) If we follow that analogy and apply it to our belief systems – we have essentially two Master Belief Records (MBRs) that affect our lives and determine our ultimate destiny. These would be 1) Our Self-Belief Record “SBR” (essentially, self-esteem) and 2) Our External Belief-Record “EBR”. That is, how you regard everything you encounter external to your self.

The successful person recognizes the power of these two beliefs – she becomes aware of their importance and how to manipulate them to her advantage. She understands that how she views herself – her SBR, essentially sets her level of achievement and what she deems achievable in her life.

Similarly, her EBR determines how she views her external world (friendly or oppressive) and this too begins to define her place in that world and what she is likely to experience in her external world.

Possessing the awareness to recognize that you are the only one who establishes and sets up your Master Belief Records which then ultimately define your life’s outcome- is an essential first step to setting up the “rules” that allow you to “WIN” or “Lose” the game of life.

The great news is, should you come to recognize your Master Belief Records are not currently setup in a fashion that allows you to win – you have the ability to reset them anytime you’d like!

Consider that the world offers us countless examples of people who, as they must, self-actualize their Master Belief Records – their core belief systems.

These two critical existential vantage points- how people view themselves and how they view the world – literally control and direct the manifestation of everything they are able to realize – including their success.

Here again, the simple reveals the profound. If I believe people are not going to help me become successful – what type of people might I expect to see in my life? If I think people are always looking to take advantage of me?

What type of people might I expect to see in my life? If I’m concerned people only want my money and aren’t interested in being my friend – what type of people might I see in my life? In each case I’ve directed my ATTENTION and FOCUS in a way that makes “winning” the game near impossible.

Yes, your Master Belief Records affect everything!

If I were to setup my external MBR with its most fundamental “root” belief – “people are selfish”. This leads to the sub-binary belief then that people are not likely to help me when I need it most or perhaps when I’m looking for a job. As you can see – this establishes a “game” that is nearly un-winnable or at the very least – makes it extremely hard to win.

Our beliefs allow us to arrange the associated thoughts in a fashion that makes “winning” possible or impossible. It is your choice.

Above, you’ve seen a simple diagram to help illustrate this binary relationship. It is literally called the “GAME TREE” – and demonstrates how a software programmer has offered the binary consequences within the game-program. In other words, what a winning set of binary combinations (decisions/choices) might be. These binary beliefs either setup the player to win or lose. Or, in our case, to realize her ideal future or not.


Whether we know it or not, as we establish our Master Belief Records they then generate sub beliefs which all eventually lead us down a path that is either a successful outcome or one filled with disillusionment and frustration.

Sadly, so many people actually start this “game” of life- believing they don’t have a shot. Or, more accurately, through continued “failures” and disappointments- become disillusioned and then create self-defeating Master Belief Records. The successful people though are those who believe (and this is the kicker) that life is a “winnable” game from the outset!

So, is this life a winnable “game”?

You tell me.

PS: just noted from John Lennon’s Dream #9

“There’s magic in the air..
I Believe, I Believe…
More can I not say
So, what more I can say?”

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10 Great Success Lessons from a Legend: Coach John Wooden

“Never cease trying to be the best you can be.”

– John Wooden

Whether you like basketball or even know what a basketball is, chances are you would have been moved and inspired by this man! Up until his death at the age of 99 in 2010, John Wooden was regarded a quick wit and sage to many players, coaches and friends who sought out his friendship and counsel.

To give you a little flavor, here’s another quote from the same article referenced above.

“When asked about the keys to successful aging, Coach was quick to respond: stay busy, stay active, enjoy every day like it is your masterpiece, have some variety and try to learn something new every day,” Castel said. “One of Coach’s famous quotes, ‘When I am through learning, then I am through,’ illustrates his lifelong commitment to learning.”

“Make every day your masterpiece!?”

I almost let the brilliance of that comment escape me. It sounds too cliché, right? “Make every day your masterpiece.” Wow! That is super powerful. If I could only possess that type of presence, that type of awareness — to make each encounter, each moment of each day a masterpiece.

In order for each day to be a masterpiece, each moment would have to be a masterpiece. By definition that is what a masterpiece is, right? All pieces/component parts masterfully interwoven to produce magnificence? I ask you, just what affect would that have on my life’s outcome?

And, “Lifelong commitment to learning.” Sound familiar?

Based on the above statements, I think it’s obvious why I’ve taken some time to spotlight the “Wizard of Westwood.” Certainly, a site like this, dedicated to success philosophy, is going to harmonize with so many of coach’s philosophies.

Yes, the “coach” is synonymous with “Success.” In fact, you’ll recall that in “The 3 C’s of Succcess,” he is referenced for his storied commitment and direct study of success as well as his 14-year refinement of his “SUCCESS PYRAMID.”

woodenpyramidjpg

Take notice!

At a relatively young age the Coach started to ASK questions — he wanted to understand SUCCESS better. In fact, he cites a story where his math teacher forced the class to consider what success meant to them (sound familiar?).

It was a profound moment in young Wooden’s life and he never forgot it. What is success? He wondered. As a young teacher he became disillusioned by seeing the pressures and expectations certain parents put on their kids if they didn’t receive an “A” or a “B.”

Those judgments he felt were hurtful, limiting, and in some cases unfair. He thought long and hard about success and what it ought to be — what the definition should be. Sound familiar? (See 3 C’s).

So, he ultimately settled on this definition, believing it provides everyone equal footing. In many ways his definition is attributed to this poem, which he often cites…

At God’s footstool, to confess,
A poor soul knelt and bowed his head.
”I failed,” he cried. The master said,
”Thou didst thy best. That is success.”

Widely regarded as the best college basketball coach of all time and  named the “Coach of the Century” by ESPN. John Wooden had a knack for cutting to the core issue, focusing on fundamentals and expertly dealing with different and difficult players – their unique personalities, star egos — and all the while forging character.

In short, he was a remarkable coach. His methods earned his teams unparalleled success. In 70-71,71-72 his teams went a perfect 30-0, winning back-to back NCAA championships. Only a few coaches have ever had one undefeated season. In fact, during a 12-year stretch, he won an astonishing 10 national championships

Here are a few quick lessons I’ve learned from his many insights:

1. Ask questions and focus upon what you want to master.

He elected to ask questions and focus on success and therefore came to know success. If you become what you think about most of the time, what better concept to focus upon, contemplate and learn about than success? He spent 14 years — YES, 14 YEARS — developing a success pyramid. How many DAYS have you thought about your definition of success and its component parts?

2. Life is a TEAM Sport.

Wooden embraced diversity and worked to find all players’ strengths.

3. Don’t treat everyone the same.

To COACH effectively you don’t treat everyone the same. Everyone responds differently. Some require encouragement and some require increased pressure and challenge. Same goes for management.

4. Concentrate on what you can control.

Coach would never let his teams dwell on the opposition. They remained focused on what they could control — mainly…

5. Practice Fundamentals FIRST and LAST.

He was legendary for grinding even the best players on the basics. He knew they could do fancy dunks — but could they hit a clutch free throw or bank shot when it counted? Do you know what your fundamentals are?

6. Moderate and Simplify.

Wooden exemplified this on the court and off with his simple demeanor and tremendous humility.

7. Focus on effort not the result.

Knowing that practicing fundamentals takes time, he was concerned solely with effort and commitment, understanding that success is a byproduct of said constant effort.

8. Quality Leadership and management require teaching.

Effective teaching requires coaching. Effective coaching requires caring and caring requires listening! Even today, ex-players recall his impact because he cared and took the time to listen and teach.

9. Balance is everything.

He said this often — balance in life and balance on the court. He put balance only second to LOVE. Balance is everything. “Be quick, but don’t hurry.” This, in essence, is balance; controlled action in all areas of life.

10. Love Rules.

See above. He used to say “the purpose of discipline isn’t to punish but to correct.” With love in his heart and by always seeking to measure intent and effort first, his players would quickly align with the teams goal — a national championship. They never feared or second-guessed his intentions.

So, when you combine all his methods, it becomes fairly easy to see why he has been so successful on and off the basketball court.

Thank you Coach! All the best Sir! Thanks so much for your tremendous gifts — your thoughtful consideration and study of SUCCESS has no doubt made many a person’s path more swift and assured. We are all likely to go farther faster because you have contributed so generously. We have indeed been fortunate to benefit from your wisdom.

Continued peace, health and happiness.

~MWS

Note: Be sure to watch this feature TED talk Wooden gave at the age of 91 about success. RIP Coach. You’ve left us all a little wiser and we can never repay you (the way you would have wanted it- see #10 below).

TED TALK -> http://bit.ly/9ji96g (priceless wisdom coming from the Coach himself)

ESPN Glenn Liebman Fav Quotes

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Guest Post: Kill Your Inner Cynic

“What is a cynic?
A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.”

– Oscar Wilde

I read a magazine article today about cynicism, and it really got me thinking. The author basically stated that the reason that men fail in their endeavors is an abundance of cynicism. And of course the cynics in us all are automatically skeptical of this statement, but he further goes on to ask us to stop and see if we can think of ONE successful cynic. Just one. It’s damn near impossible.

Incredibly successful people, whether they’re actors, entertainers, athletes or just general moguls, all share one thing: a sincere belief in themselves and in other people. It’s not enough just to be self-confident and self-sufficient. To be successful also requires that you sincerely believe in the good of mankind.


The article features a quiz that helps you to determine your cynicism level; giving statements and asking you to agree or disagree with them.

So, for example, “People pretend to care about others more than they really do care,” and then you either get to agree/disagree.

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