Book

So, YOU Want To Be Successful? Here’s a thought… Define It!

Words of wisdom all around
but no one ever seems to listen
They talk about their plans on the paper
Building up from the pavement
mm hm
there’re shadows from the scrapers on the pavement
mm hm
It’s enough to make me sigh
but that don’t seem like it would make it feel better
The words are all around
but the words are only sounds
and no one ever seems to listen

– Jack Johnson “Traffic in the Sky”

Do you have a definition of success?

I’ve taught hundreds of students for over five years. Every time I ask this simple question: “Who wants to be successful?” every single person raises his hand. At this point, I actually have inverted the question to simply be, “who does NOT want to be successful.” Just to verify that not a single person will raise their hand. Obviously, it is unanimous, EVERYONE WANTS TO BE SUCCESSFUL. This of course is where the “fun” begins…

Then, I ask them to define success.

Can you say deer in the headlights… pretty much a room full of blank stares. The students kind of squirm in their seats, perhaps a little concerned I might pin them down and actually ask them for their definition.

Wild isn’t it? Throughout the years, I’ve discovered that only about of my students actually have a working definition of success.

You may have noticed this too? Everyone wants to be successful, yet, how many have defined it?

There seems to be lots of people searching high and low for “answers”- for “shortcuts” to this elusive “success.” You’ve seen the headlines and the advertisements, no doubt:

“Be Outrageously Happy in Three Easy Steps”
“Seven Secrets to Riches”
“Be the Success You’ve Always Dreamed Of”

The crazy thing is . . . if you ask them what “success” truly is they – just like 97 percent of my students — would probably be at a loss for words.

Try it sometime. Ask someone to define “success” for you. You’ll probably be received with a blank stare. If not, you’ll get some vague definition that sounds something like:

“Success is waking up with a smile on my face.”
“Success is knowing that someone loves me.”

Now, this brings me to the question of the day: How in the world can YOU hit a target when YOU can’t see it . . . or worse yet, does not even exist?

Creating your personal definition of success

Welcome to Exercise #1. You guessed it! Time for you to write out your definition of success!

Think about it. It seems only logical that the first step to success is to at least to resolve in your mind what exactly success is. What it ought to look and feel like! You must first have a definition for it if you plan to attain it!

Ideally, your definition of success should be no longer than two or three sentences. In fact, the shorter the definition, the better. One time I asked a person to give me his personal definition of success. He gave me a description a mile long. “Success,” he said, “is when I’m happy, my dog is fed and when my girlfriend is happy and we have a lot of money and no financial worries.”
what!? – why not just add when the cat is sleeping and the baby isn’t crying!

I could probably fill several posts here on success theory alone. However, for now, what is most important is to identify an acceptable definition – one that has stood the test of time. Here, humbly submitted for your consideration is the one I teach in every class…

SUCCESS = CREATING YOUR IDEAL FUTURE.

Be sure to leave comments and share your thoughts. Really looking forward to some quality success definitions posted here. Let’s see it!

Cheers!

– Mitch W. Steel

You may also like:

Book Review: Personal Development for Smart People by Steve Pavlina

_kazze

Photo: courtesy Flickr, Kazze
Review by Mitch W. Steel

“Enjoy your incredible human journey. Accept the highs and the lows as equally valuable. Recognize that your deepest sorrows reveal your greatest joys. Share your stories with others, and know that you’re not alone. Be grateful for your time on earth. Live consciously.”

– Steve Pavlina (excerpt from Afterword)

Personal Development for Smart People.

I’d like to thank Steve Pavlina and Hayhouse for the kind invitation and opportunity they’ve extended to me and SUCCCESS.org to review Personal Development for Smart People, The Conscious Pursuit of Personal Growth.

If you are searching for a personal development resource that is rich in both strategic information and tactical techniques to improve your SELF and, therefore, your life PDfSP is the answer!

As promised by Steve, PDfSP delivers a great deal of original content, both in terms of his own personal ideas and philosophies as well as specific application techniques he has used. His writing style (as you may know from his blog) is personable and easy to read. And, as with his blog, his greatest strength is not only his personal application of these many self improvement techniques but his personal story; how he went from a confused thief, lucky to receive community service to a new-age, thought-leader and owner of the #1 personal development website and blog. www.stevepavlina.com.

And, since Steve is a Toastmaster, I figured I’d frame this review in the context of Toastmaster’s formula for critique called, “The Sandwich Method”. The formula is positive praise, followed by constructive and hopefully useful critique then, in closing, more positive encouragement and sincere commentary.

The Top Slice…

As mentioned previously and not to be overlooked, Steve’s work is easy to read. His ‘voice’ is candid, authentic and you are likely to sense a deep sincerity in his desire to help you – the reader. His work reminds me somewhat of the great Dr. Norman Vincent Peale – refreshing, unpretentious, very candid and genuine. (Read the all-time classic, The Power of Positive Thinking).

Similarly, Steve shares his findings in the context of his own self-discovery and that makes his advice extremely credible. Additionally, the proof of his techniques lies in his own realization of ’success’ (matches nicely with our definition here) and the effectiveness of his present life. While I believe the core or gut of the book- the application sections are likely to be the readership’s bread and butter- the principles and philosophies could take years to sink in. In fact, Steve urges you not to skip ahead to the application section, and admits as much in the introduction.

Continue reading →

A Goal Setting Best Practice (Counter-Intuitive) Keep your goals QUIET!

“You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do”

– Henry Ford

If you’ve read The 3 C’s of SucCcess (And I’m sure you have, Thank you) you know one of the more controversial statements I make about achieving your goals is to KEEP YOUR GOALS (particularly your BIGGEST, HAIRIEST, SCARIEST, FREAKIEST goal, TO YOURSELF!)

I can’t tell you how many comments I received telling me that was “INCORRECT”. That “common wisdom. By the way, always remember to question “Common Wisdom”, is that you should tell everyone you can — to use the LEVERAGE of a group to scare you / motivate you. My contention in the book AND (based upon MY EXPERIENCE achieving rather large goals) was to KEEP them QUITE. WHY!? Because if everything is ENERGY, you’re wasting a whole lot running around (at least i was) telling everyone what you are going to do. WHO CARES!?? They don’t care. Not because they don’t care. But, because they have their own goals to pursue AND UNTIL you ACTUALLY do anything (actually achieve it) it’s not going to mean much — it’s just the proverbial “hot air”.

Continue reading →

Walt Disney, Me and a Few C’s

“Somehow I can’t believe that there are any heights that can’t be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true. This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in four Cs. They are curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy, and the greatest of all is confidence. When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionably.”

– Walt Disney

Walter Elias Disney. Now there was a man who deserved a “Sir” before his name if ever there was one. A legend. Certainly, an incredible SUCCESS by anyone’s definition. You would be hard pressed to find a man who’s vision and inspiration has positively touched more lives. At this very moment, kids are skipping around and smiling the grandest of smiles because of his vision; to create “the happiest place on earth”, Disneyland.

What seemingly everyone forgets is, much like our first HERO President Lincoln, his road to such heights was extremely difficult. He had a multitude of opportunities to quit. I found it hard to believe that Walt was told he had no talent when trying to submit his cartoons to a local paper as a young man. Imagine that, the creator of the iconic Mickey Mouse character! Also, later in his career, as an entrepreneur, he suffered multiple business failures and even a bankruptcy. Bet you didn’t know that.

Continue reading →

Behavior Modification: Temptation, Reward Substitution & Self Control Contracts– Oh My

“In the future, we are all wonderful people.”

– Dan Ariely

This short TEDx video 17 mins – will give you some insight into why people (YOU) behave certain ways regarding certain things— even things that are very important to you. Do you wish you ate less of that? Do you wish you worked out more last week? Didn’t you plan to run this morning?

This elaborates on the basic idea that PAIN and PLEASURE are the guiding principle forces behind our decisions and actions. Entertaining and enlightening delivery. Enjoy!

You may also like:

Kindle KDP Promotion Goes LIVE TODAY! Top Ten eBook; Self Esteem, Personal Transformation & Depression

“The lazy man does the hardest work.” ~Proverb

Why NOT give it a try?

If the goal of writing the book is to help people, why not give it away— at least for a short period of time (like TODAY for instance), right?

Last year, just before the holidays I received an incredible email. A woman wanted to purchase not just one copy of the paperback The 3 C’s of Success or 10 copies but between 30 – 50 copies” — she ended up buying 45 copies of The 3 C’s of Success” as GIFTS, and then gave them away to all her managers at her company.

Continue reading →

Leadership—An Every Day Activity

Leadership.

Most people hear the term LEADERSHIP and envision great leaders like American football coaching legend Vince Lombardi or Winston Churchill or Martin Luther King, etc. The only challenge with that viewpoint it is outwardly directed; as in — great leaders are OUT —>THERE ->
(not me)!

What did you envision when I started with the word, LEADERSHIP?

Did you envision yourself? Perhaps you envisioned what you wish your boss was like?

What I’ve learned over the last 30 years is that leadership is simple but not necessarily easy and that it is built upon daily actions, decisions, and habits. Leadership demands integrity and integrity is built one brick at a time, day in — day out.

Yes! Leadership is an everyday activity based upon personal integrity. Leadership starts with TRUST (see video above), and is a reflection of our personal responsibility. Every day, each of us have the opportunity to be in harmony with our values (integrated) and therefore we can strengthen our leadership or, we may unconsciously and in some cases, even consciously, choose to be out of integrity / disharmony with our values.

But make no mistake, we (not others) are casting the vote daily Continue reading →

Arnold’s 6 Secrets of Success and The 3 C’s

Screen Shot 2018-02-19 at 10.59.01 AM

 

Despite his latest marital misgivings… I think this is a fantastic or (FAHN-Tastique- Arnold speak) VIDEO (content wise — the cinematography could use some work 🙂 ). Arnold touches on the most elemental and important aspects that have helped to DRIVE HIM and his success. It’s also revealing to see/understand his mental framework/principles responsible for forging his character.

From my vantage point, it’s interesting to see where his “6 Keys” overlap and intersect with “The 3 C’s of Succcess”

Arnold’s 1st Key: Trust Yourself
This is interesting because you’ll notice this message is ALL over this website (see this site’s ABOUT page) and of course the same message resonates throughout the book “The 3 C’s of Succcess. So, which “C” does “Trust Yourself” fall into? Most likely, CHARACTER – that is belief in yourself. There is definitely a little bit of CREATIVITY as well in his first key. That is, in order to trust yourself you must have sparked some unique, creative thoughts!

Arnold’s 2nd Key: Break the Rules
We (you) must think outside the box. Arnold’s point is, don’t break the law but be sure to break the rules. What is the point, he asks of doing everything like everyone else? This obviously falls under Creativity but no doubt contains a little Character. That is, without the confidence to break the rules you won’t likely do it.

Arnold’s 3rd Key: Do not be afraid of failure.
Translated:  Courage which is the foundation of  CHARACTER!

Arnold’s 4th Key: Ignore the Naysayers:
Critically important and is rooted as well in CHARACTER!

Arnold’s 5th Key:
WORK YOUR BUTT OFF!!! There is simply no way around it – he says, “No Shortcuts”. This is (again) both Character and Completion. I love the part about “someone out there RIGHT NOW, is working hard, getting smarter, etc.” No pain – no gain.

Arnold’s 6th key:
GIVE BACK. GIVE BACK. GIVE BACK. NOTHING is more rewarding then giving back. This constitutes Character.

Summary:
His content is spot on. You must believe you CAN do it! You must be unique/think different/break the rules! You can NOT fear failure! There will always be naysayers— ignore them entirely! And, without HARD WORK you will NOT get where you want to be! You must work hard! Finally, nothing is more rewarding than giving back!

Those are his exceptional foundational “rules” for success if you will. Yes, there is a bit of irony there given his current / most recent situation with his wife and that these are “rules” (if you follow). But please know, there is no secret to success and unfortunately there is no 4 hr work week.

So, here is a man (ARNOLD) who’s experienced terrific levels of success. You can hear the knowledge, experience and wisdom in his words. Whether it was Body building, Hollywood, Politics. The TERMINATOR kicked-ass because he was FOCUSED and BUSTED his ass. His record speaks for itself and there are great lessons to learn even from his current (personal) situation with Maria. As a public figure (unfortunately) personal situations do not tend to remain personal.

Always remember, as the great coach John Wooden used to say, “Talent can get you to the TOP but it is CHARACTER that keeps you there.”

Until next time. To your succcess (w/ 3 C’s!)

~mws