Great lesson from Stephen Covey (7 Habits of Highly Successful People) about self-fulfilling prophecy and human potential. If you are a PARENT, COACH, TEACHER – basically, ANYONE who deals with kids, you can NOT afford to miss this message. I’ve personally witnessed so many teachers and parents unfortunately limit their kids’ with unintended and believed to be innocent statements.

Notice in this video the deep significance and impact of OUR/YOUR “FRAMING” present “REALITY” whether it’s social or even personal, (You talking to yourself).

The gist is really this; ANYONE’S POTENTIAL is as much their “REALITY” as their past behavior. To put this another way, when you belittle another (OR, more likely yourself) you not only inhibit that potential for growth you dangerously shift/alter and change your present reality by altering your FUTURE expectations.

Since NOW is the only moment YOU, I or any of us have, and NOW IS ALWAYS changing — for us to fall into this illusion that we can and should judge anothers limitations by their past performance is doing them a great disservice.

Tony Robbin’s has a great, simple quote for this: “The past does not equal the future.”

Here’s the kicker though and how to ensure his statement always rings true, YOU MUST CHANGE/IMPROVE YOUR EXPECTATIONS (of yourself and others).

Here’s a very simple example: As a soccer coach working with kids: I actually use this technique fairly often and it works wonders. This is how it starts… ready?
“Great Kick!” (Then i rush over and give them a BIG HIGH FIVE!!)
Now, you might ask, “Well, was it a great kick?”

Me: “You might not have thought so… and maybe it wasn’t. However, there was great improvement.”

But here’s the kicker (no pun) This kid just heard the word “GREAT” associated with something they just did! For some of these kids the look on their face / the pride is extraordinary! You begin to wonder if they hear words like “GREAT” and their name in the same sentence often.

Here’s another example: Today, I felt great about telling an employee he was “BRILLIANT”. I sincerely meant it. (i think that is the key). Now the guy associates ‘brilliant’ and himself.

Look, this isn’t some sort of psycho-bable (hence, Stephen Covey, above) the key point is our interactions with our kids, spouses, significant others, co-workers can be positive (even electric!) or negative. YOU already know this – but what you may not recognize is with sincerity, we have the ability to expand their belief and therefore their “real” potential. AND, EVEN YOUR OWN!!

Or, I guess, we can just reflect our “reality” which is often very limited information. Since, WE SEE WHAT WE SEEK.

Enjoy & thanks for sharing w/ all those parents/teachers/coaches out there!

~mws

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“What is a cynic?
A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.”

I read a magazine article today about cynicism, and it really got me thinking. The author basically stated that the reason that men fail in their endeavors is an abundance of cynicism. And of course the cynics in us all are automatically skeptical of this statement, but he further goes on to ask us to stop and see if we can think of ONE successful cynic. Just one. It’s damn near impossible.

Incredibly successful people, whether they’re actors, entertainers, athletes or just general moguls, all share one thing: a sincere belief in themselves and in other people. It’s not enough just to be self-confident and self-sufficient. To be successful also requires that you sincerely believe in the good of mankind.
The article features a quiz that helps you to determine your cynicism level; giving statements and asking you to agree or disagree with them. So, for example, “People pretend to care about others more than they really do care,” and then you either get to agree/disagree.

I figure most people would come out at the higher end of the cynic-spectrum because we live in a cynical world and a cynical society. And, why shouldn’t we be, right?

It’s always so  much easier to act like we don’t give a damn. To blame others’ success on luck. To say, “screw the government” because it’s all corrupt. The article lists that in 2009, “only 22 percent of Americans trusted the financial system.” Doesn’t that make sense though, given that we experienced the royal financial screw-up that was the year 2008? A healthy bit of skepticism is definitely warranted but where do we cross the line? Where does it go from, “Hmm, that’s pretty wack but it’ll probably get better,” to “I knew this financial system would screw up some day, the government can’t do anything right. We’ll be stuck here for at least another ten years.”

Mike Zimmerman, the author talks about his interview with Matthew McConaughey and the dude is pretty intelligent. He manages to perfectly describe cynics in that “[they] put their finger on the disease before they put it on health. It’s the easy way to go.” After the interview, Zimmerman goes on to show images of David Beckham, Mark Wahlberg and a few other big names and states that their number one success secret: “a sincere belief in sincere belief.”

So to conclude Zimmerman’s message, in order to be truly successful in any aspect of life, financial, family, educational, you’ve got to let the cynicism go. All of it.

McConaughey concluded his interview by sharing that most people when they get stuck in a tough spot start to think ” ‘I got screwed, that should’ve been mine.’ ” Conversely, his lifelong mantra is “Just keep livin.’” And not only has he done that, he’s made some stacks along the way.
Less Zimmerman, more me. Cynic is just a fancy name for a Hater. And the thing is, a Hater doesn’t mean to “Hate,” per se, but a Hater just remains ever so sarcastic about everything in life. Like when someone tells you about their ideas and plans, and because they seem a little farfetch’d HATER regards them as “stupid” for thinking they could accomplish anything great.

In fact, you may be rolling your eyes and chuckling to yourself right now as some sort of sick, comforting habit. Since it’s actually YOU whose too scared to dream big. Good work! You’ve actually paralyzed yourself via your own continued sarcasm and “haterness”. Damn, I made up a word.

Look who’s talking though, I’m the biggest cynic I know. Irony, can be the best teacher.

This post has opened me up a bit. When I was a psychology student, I wanted to learn what made people tick. What made people do the stupid sh*t that they did, why I felt hurt sometimes for sh*t that I shouldn’t. Why this, why that. But I’ve begun to think that none of that sh*t matters, that it’s best to have a dream, have faith, and be good to people, with sincere hopes and expectations that they will be good to you. What have we got to lose?

So the next time someone comes at you with a project they’re starting — that they’re enthusiastic about, why not share the enthusiasm? Why not get inspired to do some crazy stuff yourself? Christopher Wallace (RIP) once said that in order to change the world we have to change ourselves. I’m working on me, what about you?

Guest Post by: Haris Fazlani

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“If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.”

~Clint Eastwood

Seems we all want a guarantee these days.

Similar to the microwave ‘complex’ (post) the majority of people seem to fear failure. They seek certainty. Who can blame them? Unfortunately, the problem with certainty is it simply doesn’t exist- not in this world. Don’t take my word for it. Consider this quote straight out of Wikipedia, “It is widely held that certainty is a failed historical enterprise.” How good is that?

The absence of any certainty creates FEAR.

(Zig Ziglar acronym for FEAR is; False Evidence Appearing Real) which prevents people from trying new ideas, learning new things and often times even pursuing their dreams. Simply put, FEAR can cripple one’s ability to create their ideal future.

Fear is the path to the dark side
Fear leads to anger
Anger leads to hated
Hate leads to suffering
~Yoda

Have you ever considered what the opposite of SUCCESS is. Remember, it’s probably best to have a definition of success and preferably not some trite little slogan like “to have a lot of money and a lot of friends”. I humbly recommend you figure out that definition prior to attempting to understand its opposite. (see earlier post).

So what is failure and what is its definition? (a good question indeed) Typically, students tell me failure equals the opposite of success. But, we all wondered collectively, could that really be the opposite of success?

Consider Thomas Edison and his 10,000 + failures to develop the light bulb. Had he not “failed” so many times he wouldn’t have realized the end result – the incandescent light bulb. No, “failure” you should be VERY HAPPY to note is NOT the opposite of success.

I came upon a great answer many years back in one of my early ‘Success Skills’ classes. A wonderful Hispanic girl, I can’t recall her name, provided an answer so profound I nearly fell down. “Hopelessness” she declared with a sense of pride. I was so blown way. “That is it!” Of course, who could possibly become a success if they are hopeless? Without hope there is no possible way to succeed! And, with hope all things are possible.

I strongly encourage you to always maintain a sense of hope. Hope is both a thought and an emotion only YOU can control! Typically, when one feels hopeless they are forecasting a dismal future. They are leaving the NOW, the present moment and putting their attention and focus (even using their imagination toward an image or an outcome that is totally discouraging). The ‘reality’, of course, is they have the ability to use those same ‘mental tools’ to project from a hopeful perspective and to positively envision a victorious outcome just as they might a discouraging one.

Often times, hopelessness arises from the absence of certainty. Since we now understand certainty to be nothing more than an illusion we can feel liberated rather than discouraged! If there is no certainty – you have nothing to fear. GO FOR IT! Those who are successful are not only the people who have failed multiple times, they are the same brave souls who recognize there are no guarantees! That success is a process and failure is a requirement for success.

When one can accept these truths; that failure is a prerequisite for success and that certainty is an illusion, they are likely to find the route to success much more enjoyable and ‘arrive’ far more quickly.

You are encouraged to move forward bravely. To use your powers of imagination to aid you in the attainment of your goals and not to let fear or uncertainty prevent your from taking those critical initial steps. (see Belief Tree post below).

~MWS

P.S.  This will be the last month to download the full version of “The 3 C’s of SUCCCESS” the success ebook at no cost. The Book is going to print next month and the download version will then be abreviated. Be sure to download and share the link with your loved ones while the full copy is available at no cost.

All the best. Enjoy!

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