“Show me a good loser and I’ll show you a loser.” ~Vincent Lombardi

“Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation.” ~Michael Jordan

My morning run typically ends at a park. Given that summer has just started more than a few dozen kids can be found running around and playing on any given morning. In between sets, (pushups/pullups) I notice that seemingly everywhere kids are competing; racing on foot, racing on bikes (one tiny kid had a bike that didn’t even have peddles and was racing!) everywhere I looked kids were playing tag, soccer, etc. Then, it spilled out of my mouth; jaw dropped, ipod blaring in my ears, “duh, (i said to me) competition IS natural.”

News flash! It’s human nature to compete. However, somewhere between when I was six years old and my daughter turned six we became “NICE”. You know, no winners and no losers. “Don’t worry Jimmy, just feel good.” Sarah, (who scored 3 goals) looks confused as we explain why she didn’t actually win. “there are no winners Sarah.”

While there are many larger societal challenges at the moment this one is on my radar. When and WHY did we decide we could reverse thousands of years of competitive evolution and teach kids NOT to compete? Does anyone think Sarah really believes there are no winners? Who thinks the Olympic games are going to disappear anytime soon? Guess what, kids know better instinctively.

Our attempts to shelter our kids from this NATURAL and very REAL existence of competition (yes, there are actually winners and losers) is doing them a disservice and I think our collective good intentions are misdirected. First, it’s the wrong message. we shouldn’t be telling them there are no winners or losers. We should be teaching them and coaching them about HOW to compete, HOW to win, and yes, HOW to lose and even WHY competition is healthy and positive.

Breeds excellence

I’m pretty sure we all recognize competition literally breeds excellence. Is there an ugly side to competition? You bet. However, what we may be missing with each great LOSS is the lesson. Somebody once said,”when you lose, don’t lose the lesson.”

BTW: A “good” loser is really the opposite of Lombardi’s quote above. Let me explain. Lombardi is saying show me a loser who is “good” = used to and accepts losing and I’ll show you a “real” loser. That’s is entirely different from what a truly “GOOD” loser is. In fact, a good loser is Michael Jordan for instance. Yes. Pick yourself up off the floor.

“What!?” you declare “Jordan is one of the greatest winners on the planet! He has six championship rings” You retort. Correct. And how do you think he got that way? Via many, (in fact a lifetime) of loses… Never forget the road to Winnersville is paved by painful and bumpy stones and loses.

Why do you think Jordan’s quote is up above as well? A “GOOD” loser as he points out ( again, he’s the best there was) is a tough minded-optimist who does NOT like to lose (can’t stand losing) and is able to take the lessons (learn from the lessons) from any loss to become a winner. He did that pretty well I’d say. Indeed, this is the only way anyone becomes a “winner” via losing. In fact, there is no such thing as a winner – only a good loser who became a winner.

This is why telling our kids there is no loser is, dare i say, pretty stupid. Learn from losing PARENTS! Teach your kids the lessons. Good parenting is Good Coaching. (Can’t wait to see that bumper sticker). Good parenting is good coaching.

Competition is far better for the loser in my estimation than the winner, given the correct mindset. What is the correct mindset? Losing is temporary. Just like winning is and just like life is. In the context of time we can appreciate the ephemeral nature of any lose and find the lesson. See Churchill below. Your life(time) is dynamic and not a static event. How many times has the failed Olympian rallied back after losing in a prior Olympic games? I think we have all heard the story about Jordan’s INABILITY to make his high school basketball team.

A tough minded LOSER ensures a healthy champion. Unless this is the Serengeti and we’re dealing with lions and antelope losing has a transcendent nature and therefore can afford us fantastic benefits.

How are your recent loses affecting you? Are they beating you down or firing you up?

It’s never been about the one with the raw talent that becomes the very best. It’s always about the one with a chip on their shoulder (something to prove, most importantly to themselves) spurred by past loses, failures, humiliations. The one who challenges themselves and positively changes their internal chemistry for ultimate success.

life is a process… winning is a process…. losing is a prerequisite.

THE REAL LESSON
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. ~Winston Churchill

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Brilliant. astounding, outstanding and remarkable

There aren’t enough superlatives for MAN ON WIRE!

Things have been a little busy lately – and wanting to get to this “review’ / post since I saw this movie well over a month ago! Man on Wire is incredibly entertaining movie and not just for the never-to-be-repeated, remarkable feat itself (tight-rope, in this case wire-walking from one World Trade Center tower to the other) but, also, for its direction, production, and original footage.

I happened to see this movie (wifee’s recommendation) just before the Academy Awards (no surprise it won for best documentary).  The story features Phillipe Petit and his mission to realize his life’s dream of walking a tight rope between the two world trade towers. The brilliance from a production standpoint is the reenactment is interspersed with some fantastic original footage.  But, what makes the movie truly so powerful and riveting is the UNDERLYING THEME.

We are all walking a tight rope.

The difference is easy to see though isn’t it? Some people embrace the ‘experience’ and go out of their way to, as Phillipe says, “live on the edge” and then, there is the majority – the vast majority, that cower from the edge. They seek the center, they seek “security”.

If you’ve seen my prior post on SECURITY and CERTAINTY you know my thoughts on the topic. So having said that, I wanted to call out the 9 significant take-aways, essentially, reaffirming the techniques and lessons of Philipe’s brilliant story. Reverse engineering, once again, to the rescue.

1: Desire, Dream & Visualize: Phillipe actually realized his goal the day he was in his doctor’s office waiting for his appointment. While there, he was flipping through a magazine and noticed a feature story on the world trade center – it was still the early 70’s, the towers where not even completely built! However, he knew upon seeing the vision of the towers this was his destiny. He was sucked into the event at that moment several years earlier by the VISION – the dream and his desire quickly compelled him to tear a page right out of the magazine featuring the towers.

2: Practice: Phillipe was the consummate pro – addicted to practicing his craft.There is original footage showing how often he practiced and under what circumstances – blindfolded, with people shaking the cable, etc. His daily ritual involved practice. His tight rope walking skills were masterful because of fundamental practice.

3: Plan and Strategize: To pull of something of this magnitude required considerable planning which involved a schedule; scoping the job, gaining access to the towers. A plan to get the cable from one tower to the next and of course a strategy for  “game day”.
3.a – Flexibility: With every plan you must remain FLEXIBLE. Literally, the man was a cat. One flexible dude. but this refers to his flexibility in planning, of bending but not braking. More things went wrong than right — before the plan came together.

4:  TEAMWORK: Phillipe had to enlist nearly a dozen accomplices to this “CRIME”. A few friends pulled out at the last minute – fearful they may be held accountable for the death of a friend! Without the other brave and willing friends his dream isn’t realized. TEAMWORK.

5: BELIEVE: In the man’s own words… “Impossible! Great, let’s get to work!”

6: Passion: Passion powers people through obstacles. It’s stated in The 3 C’s of Succcess a few times. Nothing worth pursuing is going to be easy. What differentiates those who succeed more often than not is passion! Passion gets you to COMPLETION (the 3rd C). Lack of passion gets you somewhere else.

7: “Death is very Close”: Often times far closer than any of us want to imagine. So, this can either terrify you or MOTIVATE you. Phillipe was motivated by death on the front (of the event) and back end (during the event).  And, his point is you are never more  ALIVE then “when death is very close” . There are many who will attest to that.

8: FOCUS: To execute such an act took laser-like focus. Guess how many times he looked down? What are you focusing on? Right now, quick question, are you focusing on the opportunities before you or the obstacles? Can you craft the obstacles to become opportunities?

9: Fun & Flare: Perhaps this is why the cops waited around to drag his ass to the looney bin. He didn’t just tight rope walk between the towers – he turned it into a PERFORMANCE. Phillipe bowed, saluted, SMILED and then decided to take a CAT nap (gives new meaning to the term) on the wire! He danced on the wire for over 40 minutes. Seriously, he executed the impossible with remarkable poise. He enjoyed the process and put on a show nearly 2000 feet above crowds and a lot of cement! Yes, I said he LAID DOWN on the wire!!?

Now that is beautiful. Scoreboard.

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1. Steve Jobs, Synchronicity, Connecting the Dots & Trust

“It’s not the strongest of the species nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.”

~Charles Darwin

Change Happens.

NOW is a great time to determine how flexible and adaptable you are.

It’s hilarious to me that many people can’t wrap their head around PD (personal development) as though there’s a sort of stigma attached to it which likely originated from the designation of the “Self-Help” category publishers are so fond of using. What’s ‘funny’ about it of course is these are the same people who think they are perfect (the problem is everyone else) and yet, for some reason they’re not sure why they don’t have more ’success’ in life.

Who knows? All I know is that without the constant pursuit of personal development/improvement to outpace the compounding effects of change along with the mindset to embrace and accept the challenges said change brings about, my life would be very different.

“It takes humility to seek feedback. it takes wisdom to understand it, analyze it, and appropriately act on it.
~ Stephen R. Covey

I’m truly of the school of thought that Covey speaks of. Consider his above quote, Humility – the ability to seek feedback, to listen, be aware and self-correct by appropriately acting. To refine one’s Character (the 2nd C). Such action requires humility and intelligence but most importantly as Darwin points out, it requires the adaptability to change!

Hence, the reason I’m seemingly addicted to PD (personal development) to “Sharpening the Saw” (Covey’s 7th Habit of the “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”) and helping others to create such awareness. Hence, the creation of “The 3 C’s of SUCCCESS,” a motivational eBook outlining a simplified approach of the three essential requirements for ANY person to create their ideal future. All contained within the context of constant self-improvement.

By pursuing personal development one: a) acknowledges and embraces the concept that life is not static. That they must learn, adapt and grow just to keep pace with the world (at the very least) and to excel in the best case scenario. And, b) helps to remind people that if they continue to do the same things they did yesterday, last week or last year (even if they were successful) they are in for a rude awakening.

We are curious creatures indeed! The evidence is all around us. Take the auto, photo or publishing industries as a few basic examples. What once worked for any of these – what once made each super successful and provided large profits has now become obsolete! The old products, processes and methodologies won’t suffice. Change not only happens – it’s inevitable. TIME TAKES NO PRISONERS! So why – prêt ell, do you think you can continue to do the same things you did yesterday, last week or last year and achieve favorable results?

The U.S. education system is another brutal reminder of the powerful affects of change when we fail to adapt! Today, nearly 50% of our high school kids drop out! Frankly, I don’t blame them. We are teaching our kids the same curriculum the same way we did in the 1950s! Pardon my French, but that is retarded in the truest definition of the word. (definition: 1. To keep delaying; to continue to hinder; to prevent from progress; to render more slow in progress; to impede; to hinder; as, to retard the march of an army; to retard the motion of a ship; — opposed to accelerate). Our education system is retarded.

Today’s high school kids are smarter, more technologically savvy and in some cases better equipped for the present work environment perhaps, than many of the teachers. Yet, you’d never know it due to the large numbers of kids who drop out. I have personal experience with a super bright 17 year old that was so bored by the curriculum and the uninspired methods of teaching that he dropped out. He then went on to ace the Science portion of the G.E.D. with very little preparation.

I could go on about the education system and how ‘broke’ it is. Yet, this isn’t designed to slam the teachers who are just doing what is asked of them and are severely underpaid. It’s simply another illustration of the importance to acknowledge the powerful affects of change and the obligation we ALL have to keep up with it – to simply adapt or perish.

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