Great lesson from Stephen Covey (7 Habits of Highly Successful People) about self-fulfilling prophecy and human potential. If you are a PARENT, COACH, TEACHER – basically, ANYONE who deals with kids, you can NOT afford to miss this message. I’ve personally witnessed so many teachers and parents unfortunately limit their kids’ with unintended and believed to be innocent statements.

Notice in this video the deep significance and impact of OUR/YOUR “FRAMING” present “REALITY” whether it’s social or even personal, (You talking to yourself).

The gist is really this; ANYONE’S POTENTIAL is as much their “REALITY” as their past behavior. To put this another way, when you belittle another (OR, more likely yourself) you not only inhibit that potential for growth you dangerously shift/alter and change your present reality by altering your FUTURE expectations.

Since NOW is the only moment YOU, I or any of us have, and NOW IS ALWAYS changing — for us to fall into this illusion that we can and should judge anothers limitations by their past performance is doing them a great disservice.

Tony Robbin’s has a great, simple quote for this: “The past does not equal the future.”

Here’s the kicker though and how to ensure his statement always rings true, YOU MUST CHANGE/IMPROVE YOUR EXPECTATIONS (of yourself and others).

Here’s a very simple example: As a soccer coach working with kids: I actually use this technique fairly often and it works wonders. This is how it starts… ready?
“Great Kick!” (Then i rush over and give them a BIG HIGH FIVE!!)
Now, you might ask, “Well, was it a great kick?”

Me: “You might not have thought so… and maybe it wasn’t. However, there was great improvement.”

But here’s the kicker (no pun) This kid just heard the word “GREAT” associated with something they just did! For some of these kids the look on their face / the pride is extraordinary! You begin to wonder if they hear words like “GREAT” and their name in the same sentence often.

Here’s another example: Today, I felt great about telling an employee he was “BRILLIANT”. I sincerely meant it. (i think that is the key). Now the guy associates ‘brilliant’ and himself.

Look, this isn’t some sort of psycho-bable (hence, Stephen Covey, above) the key point is our interactions with our kids, spouses, significant others, co-workers can be positive (even electric!) or negative. YOU already know this – but what you may not recognize is with sincerity, we have the ability to expand their belief and therefore their “real” potential. AND, EVEN YOUR OWN!!

Or, I guess, we can just reflect our “reality” which is often very limited information. Since, WE SEE WHAT WE SEEK.

Enjoy & thanks for sharing w/ all those parents/teachers/coaches out there!

~mws

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Despite his latest marital misgivings… I think this is a fantastic or (FAHN-Tastique- Arnold speak) VIDEO (content wise — the cinematography could use some work ). Arnold touches on the most elemental and important aspects that have helped to DRIVE HIM and his success. It’s also revealing to see/understand his mental framework/principles responsible for forging his character.

From my vantage point, it’s interesting to see where his “6 Keys” overlap and intersect with “The 3 C’s of Succcess”

Arnold’s 1st Key: Trust Yourself
This is interesting because you’ll notice this message is ALL over this website (see this site’s ABOUT page) and of course the same message resonates throughout the book “The 3 C’s of Succcess. So, which “C” does “Trust Yourself” fall into? Most likely, CHARACTER – that is belief in yourself. There is definitely a little bit of CREATIVITY as well in his first key. That is, in order to trust yourself you must have sparked some unique, creative thoughts!

Arnold’s 2nd Key: Break the Rules
We (you) must think outside the box. Arnold’s point is, don’t break the law but be sure to break the rules. What is the point, he asks of doing everything like everyone else? This obviously falls under Creativity but no doubt contains a little Character. That is, without the confidence to break the rules you won’t likely do it.

Arnold’s 3rd Key: Do not be afraid of failure.
Translated:  Courage which is the foundation of  CHARACTER!

Arnold’s 4th Key: Ignore the Naysayers:
Critically important and is rooted as well in CHARACTER!

Arnold’s 5th Key:
WORK YOUR BUTT OFF!!! There is simply no way around it – he says, “No Shortcuts”. This is (again) both Character and Completion. I love the part about “someone out there RIGHT NOW, is working hard, getting smarter, etc.” No pain – no gain.

Arnold’s 6th key:
GIVE BACK. GIVE BACK. GIVE BACK. NOTHING is more rewarding then giving back. This constitutes Character.

Summary:
His content is spot on. You must believe you CAN do it! You must be unique/think different/break the rules! You can NOT fear failure! There will always be naysayers— ignore them entirely! And, without HARD WORK you will NOT get where you want to be! You must work hard! Finally, nothing is more rewarding than giving back!

Those are his exceptional foundational “rules” for success if you will. Yes, there is a bit of irony there given his current / most recent situation with his wife and that these are “rules” (if you follow). But please know, there is no secret to success and unfortunately there is no 4 hr work week.

So, here is a man (ARNOLD) who’s experienced terrific levels of success. You can hear the knowledge, experience and wisdom in his words. Whether it was Body building, Hollywood, Politics. The TERMINATOR kicked-ass because he was FOCUSED and BUSTED his ass. His record speaks for itself and there are great lessons to learn even from his current (personal) situation with Maria. As a public figure (unfortunately) personal situations do not tend to remain personal.

Always remember, as the great coach John Wooden used to say, “Talent can get you to the TOP but it is CHARACTER that keeps you there.”

Until next time. To your succcess (w/ 3 C’s!)

~mws

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UPDATE!!!

This post was originally written in early 2008 and was updated after he had his liver transplant in 2009. In light of Mr. Jobs passing, this YouTube video of his commencement address has gone viral – (10Million hits later). We originally shared this video when it was in the low 6 figures. I felt it was important to bring this back to the TOP of the POST pile.

If you haven’t seen this video, it’s extremely worthwhile and the words below are designed to challenge your personal reflection.

Recall Aristotle’s famous quote: “Wisdom is an equal measure of Experience plus Reflection.

E + R = W

ENJOY!

Stanford Commencement Address 2005.
Mr. Steven Jobs; Monster-Entrepreneur, Apple & Pixar CEO, Super-Hero Extraordinaire

“Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward.” ~Kierkegaard

Every time I see this speech I’m awed by the number of gems Steve shares. I find it interesting to overlay these anecdotes against the backdrop of my personal experiences. His tales of opportunity, following his heart, continuous learning, failure, humility, and of course, mortality are both profound and inspiring.

However, I ask you, “How unique are they?” Just how rare are these “coincidences?”

The question I encourage you to ask is, “where are the parallels?” Surely you recognize you don’t have to be CEO of a couple fortune 500 companies to notice that, ultimately, the song remains the same; that these synchronistic events happen daily for everyone. The real question is not, “how rare is this?” But rather, “How aware am I to the events and all the possibilities?”

Think about it. One day Jobs is walking eight miles to eat at a Hare Krishna Temple – the next, he’s revolutionizing the computing industry. A slight exaggeration perhaps. However, the point is not to be lost, those were two very real “stations” in his life separated only by awareness, purity of intent and of course time.

Enter Deepak
The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire by Deepak Chopra, M.D. [excerpt]

We cannot even imagine the complex forces behind every event that occurs in our lives. There’s a conspiracy of coincidences that weaves the web of karma or destiny and creates an individual’s personal life mine, or yours. The only reason we don’t experience synchronicity in our daily lives is that we do not live from the level where it is happening. Usually we see only cause-and-effect relationships. This causes that, which causes this, which causes that — linear trajectories. Yet beneath the surface, something else is happening. Invisible to us is a whole web of connections. As it becomes apparent, we see how our intentions are woven into this web, which is much more context-bound, much more relational, much more holistic, much more nurturing than our surface experience.

Very often we fall into ruts in our lives; we maintain the same routines and act in the same manner predictably day after day after day. We set our minds on a certain course of action, and simply proceed. How can miracles happen if we march mindlessly, unthinking and unaware, through our lives? Coincidences are like road flares, calling our attention to something important in our lives, glimpses of what goes on beyond everyday distractions. We can choose to ignore those flares and hurry on, or we can pay attention to them and live out the miracle that is waiting for us.
(pages 125-126, The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire, by Deepak Chopra.

Enter YOU
How can you relate to each of the lessons shared within Job’s speech? Hopefully, these questions challenge you to draw your own conclusions, to connect your own dots and ultimately TRUST what IS.

I found this exercise invaluable in helping me to keep the faith and trust – even during some extremely difficult times with my businesses. His themes; “follow your heart”, “stay hungry-stay foolish” “love what you do” and “trust” remain paramount and I’m hopeful they will continue as guideposts for as long as I live.

So, here for your entertainment, are a handful of questions designed to FREE your mind and to hopefully foster your trust… of what IS. To acknowledge that whether you know it or not, you’ve already connected a few dots

Question #1. How has chance played a role in your very existence?
When you ponder this question you literally become free. I’m sure you recognize you had no responsibility in the matter of your existence. But, how often have you considered it? It was neither your effort nor your ego which placed you “here”.

Question #2: Identify your most favored current relationship. Then ask, “How is it that I know this person?” “What events precipitated this relationship?”
How did that relationship manifest? How did you meet this person? What circumstances and coincidences played a role in the creation of that relationship? How much effort or control did you have in directly creating that relationship?

Question #3: How are you currently following your heart?
Recall, Jobs dropped out of school but not for the sake of dropping out. It was his intent to protect his parents investment and savings and so he could “drop in” on the classes that interested him the most, like calligraphy.

Question #4: How has a recent set back or failure affected your present mindset?
What was Steve’s first impulse when was fired from the very company he created? Then, what was it that kept him around and set him on a course of action and why?

Question #5: Are you able to connect the dots now?
Can you see that be looking back you’ve been the beneficiary of some fantastic, seemingly unrelated events that have brought you to your current career path or introduced you to something you are very passionate about?

Question #6: What question did Steve ask himself every morning?
What question do you ask yourself every morning? What do you choose to focus on?

Question #7: What is life’s greatest invention – it’s greatest change agent?
How much time do you think you have? How much time do you really think you need in order to make your dreams come true? Do you NOT think that SynchroDestiny (as Deepak calls it) must play a part in that vision? Particularly when you consider the meeting of two strangers is statistically incalculable
.

Enjoy.
~MWS

————
P.S: When I envisioned writing about Jobs this wasn’t the piece i had in mind. Far from it. I thought it’d be a post about the most brilliant execution of business strategy I’ve ever witnessed. Recall, his early days after being reinstated at the helm of Apple; his settlement with Microsoft to shore-up some badly needed cash then, secretly developing for the Intel platform and making the Apple OS open source. It was like watching Kasparov’s end-game. Simply brilliant. And, I haven’t even mentioned the iPod, iTunes or iPhone.

Mr. Jobs, Sir… thoughts and prayers to you and your family. We’re pulling for you and your speedy recovery.

btw: Thanks for making the world a far more creative and enjoyable place to live.

Cheers and God Bless.

~MWS

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If you’ve read The 3 C’s of Succcess (and i’m sure you have : ) thank you…) you know one of the more controversial statements I make about achieving your goals is to KEEP YOUR GOALS (particularly your BIGGEST, HAIRIEST, SCARIEST, FREAKIEST goal, TO YOURSELF!)

I can’t tell you how many comments I received telling me that was “INCORRECT”. That “common wisdom” (of course) btw: always remember to question “Common Wisdom”, is that you should tell everyone you can — to use the LEVERAGE of a group to scare you / motivate you. My contention in the book AND (based upon MY EXPERIENCE achieving rather large goals) was to KEEP them QUITE. WHY!? Because if everything is ENERGY, you’re wasting a whole lot running around (at least i was) telling everyone what you are going to do. WHO CARES!?? They don’t care. Not because they don’t care. But, because they have their own goals to pursue AND UNTIL you ACTUALLY do anything (actually achieve it) it’s not going to mean much — it’s just the proverbial “hot air”.

Remember, i believe it was Henry Ford who said, “You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do.” Get it?

The great thing is, the above video shares a SCIENTIFIC study based upon the psychology of what happens when you tell people. WATCH IT! You will become complacent in a sense — as though you’ve somehow achieved it, even slightly by talking about it. Strange but perhaps true. When I reflect all those big goals i only spoke of to people, it actually makes some sense as though i was trying to convince them and myself I could/would do that someday.

So, whether for psychological reasons or cosmic, metaphysical reasons (energy!). My advice remains consistent. Your best bet to achieve your goals is to keep them quite, bust your ass (work really hard), and keep them quite. (BTW: not to confuse you, but sharing your goal with and using a master mind certainly works. but that is very different then just blabbing about the goal to friends and family. ) Perhaps the master-mind will be another post.

Until then…. keep your fricken mouth shut! : )

Big love. i’m expecting that thank you email in a year after you’ve nailed a BIG GOAL!

~mws

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for the love of GOD, people, please stop looking for “secrets”… stop looking for shortcuts. I take that back. Go ahead look for shortcuts all you like. But the only secret is that you don’t realize you have the answers within.

watch this video – please. don’t do it for me, do it for you / your loved ones. ten minutes. that’s it. If you take the message to heart i GUARANTEE it will have a lifetime affect on you as it did on my over ten years ago. (of course, i’ve probably listened now a few hundred times since-i’m a slow learner) Then, I gave it to a number of friends (this is when it was on cassette tape!).

if you put in the ten minutes listening to this message you’ll see how timeless it is. You control ONLY ONE thing – your thoughts. How you think habitually and what you think about you ultimately become. Another gem… conformity rules. “the opposite of courage is not cowardice, it’s conformity.” Consider that for a minute, those we admire simply have found/developed the habit of COURAGE. And, like any other habit it’s developed over time.

what do you think about habitually?

what does your ideal future look like? (see The 3 C’s of Succcess)

what habits of (thought and action) have you developed to make your vision a reality?

enjoy. my prescription is to watch this about once a month for the next year.

until next time,

~mws

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Brilliant. astounding, outstanding and remarkable

There aren’t enough superlatives for MAN ON WIRE!

Things have been a little busy lately – and wanting to get to this “review’ / post since I saw this movie well over a month ago! Man on Wire is incredibly entertaining movie and not just for the never-to-be-repeated, remarkable feat itself (tight-rope, in this case wire-walking from one World Trade Center tower to the other) but, also, for its direction, production, and original footage.

I happened to see this movie (wifee’s recommendation) just before the Academy Awards (no surprise it won for best documentary).  The story features Phillipe Petit and his mission to realize his life’s dream of walking a tight rope between the two world trade towers. The brilliance from a production standpoint is the reenactment is interspersed with some fantastic original footage.  But, what makes the movie truly so powerful and riveting is the UNDERLYING THEME.

We are all walking a tight rope.

The difference is easy to see though isn’t it? Some people embrace the ‘experience’ and go out of their way to, as Phillipe says, “live on the edge” and then, there is the majority – the vast majority, that cower from the edge. They seek the center, they seek “security”.

If you’ve seen my prior post on SECURITY and CERTAINTY you know my thoughts on the topic. So having said that, I wanted to call out the 9 significant take-aways, essentially, reaffirming the techniques and lessons of Philipe’s brilliant story. Reverse engineering, once again, to the rescue.

1: Desire, Dream & Visualize: Phillipe actually realized his goal the day he was in his doctor’s office waiting for his appointment. While there, he was flipping through a magazine and noticed a feature story on the world trade center – it was still the early 70’s, the towers where not even completely built! However, he knew upon seeing the vision of the towers this was his destiny. He was sucked into the event at that moment several years earlier by the VISION – the dream and his desire quickly compelled him to tear a page right out of the magazine featuring the towers.

2: Practice: Phillipe was the consummate pro – addicted to practicing his craft.There is original footage showing how often he practiced and under what circumstances – blindfolded, with people shaking the cable, etc. His daily ritual involved practice. His tight rope walking skills were masterful because of fundamental practice.

3: Plan and Strategize: To pull of something of this magnitude required considerable planning which involved a schedule; scoping the job, gaining access to the towers. A plan to get the cable from one tower to the next and of course a strategy for  “game day”.
3.a – Flexibility: With every plan you must remain FLEXIBLE. Literally, the man was a cat. One flexible dude. but this refers to his flexibility in planning, of bending but not braking. More things went wrong than right — before the plan came together.

4:  TEAMWORK: Phillipe had to enlist nearly a dozen accomplices to this “CRIME”. A few friends pulled out at the last minute – fearful they may be held accountable for the death of a friend! Without the other brave and willing friends his dream isn’t realized. TEAMWORK.

5: BELIEVE: In the man’s own words… “Impossible! Great, let’s get to work!”

6: Passion: Passion powers people through obstacles. It’s stated in The 3 C’s of Succcess a few times. Nothing worth pursuing is going to be easy. What differentiates those who succeed more often than not is passion! Passion gets you to COMPLETION (the 3rd C). Lack of passion gets you somewhere else.

7: “Death is very Close”: Often times far closer than any of us want to imagine. So, this can either terrify you or MOTIVATE you. Phillipe was motivated by death on the front (of the event) and back end (during the event).  And, his point is you are never more  ALIVE then “when death is very close” . There are many who will attest to that.

8: FOCUS: To execute such an act took laser-like focus. Guess how many times he looked down? What are you focusing on? Right now, quick question, are you focusing on the opportunities before you or the obstacles? Can you craft the obstacles to become opportunities?

9: Fun & Flare: Perhaps this is why the cops waited around to drag his ass to the looney bin. He didn’t just tight rope walk between the towers – he turned it into a PERFORMANCE. Phillipe bowed, saluted, SMILED and then decided to take a CAT nap (gives new meaning to the term) on the wire! He danced on the wire for over 40 minutes. Seriously, he executed the impossible with remarkable poise. He enjoyed the process and put on a show nearly 2000 feet above crowds and a lot of cement! Yes, I said he LAID DOWN on the wire!!?

Now that is beautiful. Scoreboard.

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1. Steve Jobs, Synchronicity, Connecting the Dots & Trust

Here’s a quote I’m rather fond of… It rephrases the age old proverb, “necessity is the mother of invention” to “necessity isn’t the mother of invention – invention is.”

Napoleon Hill wrote the all-time classic personal development book, Think and Grow Rich. The book is based on his 20-year study of the greatest minds of his time, including Henry Ford and Thomas Edison. He discovered from this exercise that there human creativity took basically two different forms – synthetic imagination and creative vision.

Synthetic imagination joins your pre-existing ideas, your concepts and your products and transforms them into something completely different, into a completely new form or a new, unanticipated solution to a problem. Very little of what is created today is absolutely original – from scratch, if you will. In fact, many of our greatest inventions are based upon the concept of synthetic imagination. Perhaps that is what Isaac Newton said when he attributed his greatest discoveries to the ability to “stand on the shoulders of giants.”

Really when you consider it further necessity, in reality, is the GRANDMOTHER of invention.

For example, the garbage can. Yes, the lowly, smelly garbage can. The original intent of the garbage can was to have a receptacle to place the garbage collected during the course of a week in your household. A simple enough need.

Soon, the garbage bag was invented. One invention – the garbage can – spawned yet another invention, the garbage BAG. This, in a nutshell, is synthetic imagination. In other words, this is simply a creative way to combine two pre-existing ideas or inventions.

The second type of creativity is creative vision.

A good way to look at this is to think of creative vision as dialing directly into your creative source. This is what Napoleon Hill called your “infinite intelligence.” You might refer to this as God.

In essence, it’s your intuition. It’s the way the infinite intelligence or God gives us our hunches and our “inspirations.”
Hill had a great story involving Thomas Edison in which the famous inventor, known for his relentless pursuit of the light bulb, uses both creative vision and synthetic imagination. Edison was well known for the many cat naps which he took throughout the day. What is not so well known, is how he used these to his creative advantage.

When Edison was tired and frustrated by the day’s “failures” at not having discovered the best method of creating this invention, he would nap. But before falling asleep, he formed in his mind a clear view of the problem he was currently facing. As he wakes from his nap, in that limbo-like peaceful state before he’s fully awake, he realizes the solution to the problem. The light bulb, in order to function, must be placed in a vacuum.

The vacuum was indeed the only environment that would prevent the immediate burn out of the wire as well as prevent any electrocution. His thoughts immediately jumped to charcoal. He recalled images of charcoal covered with dirt and of course subconsciously realized they burned much more slowly than the rest. In fact, it was that realization – coming out of his nap which his subconscious was trying to share with him. Limit the oxygen and the filiment that illuminates the lightbulb will not burn out so quickly!

You don’t always need to use your creative vision and bring something as momentous to the world as the light bulb. More often than not, synthetic imagination becomes the vehicle to success.

All you really need to do is combine two ideas that are already pretty darn good on their own. Just look at the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. If you’re old enough, you probably even remember the initial commercial which introduced the product to us. One person walked along the street, totally absorbed in his chocolate candy bar. Walking in the opposite direction came another individual, equally absorbed in his peanut butter.

BAM! They walked right into each other. The candy bar crashed right into the jar of peanut butter. A new taste treat was born!

Just look at the evolution of the cell phone. Once the original phone was invented, synthetic imagination took over to create an evolution of the gadget none of us can now seem to live without. Other technologies fueled by synthetic imagination include Google, Myspace, Facebook to name just a few. New goods and services are created every day using existing technology in a new and innovative way.

Don’t think for a moment that synthetic imagination or even creative imagination is the realm of a chosen few.

Be sure to share cool examples of either creative vision or synthetic imagination and ways they’ve created value for others and / or affected your life. These examples will help everyone (readership) recognize the true path to success begins with creativity and hopefully inspire them to create!

Thanks again… until next time

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Words of wisdom all around
but no one ever seems to listen
They talk about their plans on the paper
Building up from the pavement
mm hm
there’re shadows from the scrapers on the pavement
mm hm
It’s enough to make me sigh
but that don’t seem like it would make it feel better
The words are all around
but the words are only sounds
and no one ever seems to listen
~ Jack Johnson “Traffic in the Sky”

Do you have a definition of success?
I’ve taught hundreds of students for over five years. Every time I ask this simple question: “Who wants to be successful?” every single person raises his hand. At this point, I actually have inverted the question to simply be, “who does NOT want to be successful.” Just to verify that not a single person will raise their hand. Obviously, it is unanimous, EVERYONE WANTS TO BE SUCCESSFUL. This of course is where the “fun” begins…

Then, I ask them to define success.

Can you say dear in the headlights… pretty much a room full of blank stares. The students kind of squirm in their seats, perhaps a little concerned I might pin them down and actually ask them for their definition.

Wild isn’t it? Throughout the years, I’ve discovered that only about 3% of my students actually have a working definition of success.

You may have noticed this too? Everyone wants to be successful, yet, how many have defined it?

There seems to be lots of people searching high and low for “answers”- for “shortcuts” to this elusive “success.” You’ve seen the headlines and the advertisements, no doubt:

“Be Outrageously Happy in Three Easy Steps”
“Seven Secrets to Riches”
“Be the Success You’ve Always Dreamed Of”

The crazy thing is . . . if you ask them what “success” truly is they – just like 97 percent of my students — would probably be at a loss for words.

Try it sometime. Ask someone to define “success” for you. You’ll probably be received with a blank stare. If not, you’ll get some vague definition that sounds something like:

“Success is waking up with a smile on my face.”
“Success is knowing that someone loves me.”

Now, this brings me to the question of the day: How in the world can YOU hit a target when YOU can’t see it . . . or worse yet, does not even exist?

Creating your personal definition of success

Welcome to Exercise #1. You guessed it! Time for you to write out your definition of success!

Think about it. It seems only logical that the first step to success is to at least to resolve in your mind what exactly success is. What it ought to look and feel like! You must first have a definition for it if you plan to attain it!

Ideally, your definition of success should be no longer than two or three sentences. In fact, the shorter the definition, the better. One time I asked a person to give me his personal definition of success. He gave me a description a mile long. “Success,” he said, “is when I’m happy, my dog is fed and when my girlfriend is happy and we have a lot of money and no financial worries.”
what!? – why not just add when the cat is sleeping and the baby isn’t crying!

I could probably fill several posts here on success theory alone. However, for now, what is most important is to identify an acceptable definition – one that has stood the test of time. Here, humbly submitted for your consideration is the one I teach in every class…

SUCCESS = CREATING YOUR IDEAL FUTURE.

Be sure to leave comments and share your thoughts. Really looking forward to some quality success definitions posted here. Let’s see it!

cheers!

~ Mitch W. Steel

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