CERTAINTY and FAILURE
“If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.”
~Clint Eastwood
Seems we all want a guarantee these days.
Similar to the microwave ‘complex’ (post) the majority of people seem to fear failure. They seek certainty. Who can blame them? Unfortunately, the problem with certainty is it simply doesn’t exist- not in this world. Don’t take my word for it. Consider this quote straight out of Wikipedia, “It is widely held that certainty is a failed historical enterprise.” How good is that?
The absence of any certainty creates FEAR.
(Zig Ziglar acronym for FEAR is; False Evidence Appearing Real) which prevents people from trying new ideas, learning new things and often times even pursuing their dreams. Simply put, FEAR can cripple one’s ability to create their ideal future.
Fear is the path to the dark side
Fear leads to anger
Anger leads to hated
Hate leads to suffering
~Yoda
Have you ever considered what the opposite of SUCCESS is. Remember, it’s probably best to have a definition of success and preferably not some trite little slogan like “to have a lot of money and a lot of friends”. I humbly recommend you figure out that definition prior to attempting to understand its opposite. (see earlier post).
So what is failure and what is its definition? (a good question indeed) Typically, students tell me failure equals the opposite of success. But, we all wondered collectively, could that really be the opposite of success?
Consider Thomas Edison and his 10,000 + failures to develop the light bulb. Had he not “failed” so many times he wouldn’t have realized the end result – the incandescent light bulb. No, “failure” you should be VERY HAPPY to note is NOT the opposite of success.
I came upon a great answer many years back in one of my early ‘Success Skills’ classes. A wonderful Hispanic girl, I can’t recall her name, provided an answer so profound I nearly fell down. “Hopelessness” she declared with a sense of pride. I was so blown way. “That is it!” Of course, who could possibly become a success if they are hopeless? Without hope there is no possible way to succeed! And, with hope all things are possible.
I strongly encourage you to always maintain a sense of hope. Hope is both a thought and an emotion only YOU can control! Typically, when one feels hopeless they are forecasting a dismal future. They are leaving the NOW, the present moment and putting their attention and focus (even using their imagination toward an image or an outcome that is totally discouraging). The ‘reality’, of course, is they have the ability to use those same ‘mental tools’ to project from a hopeful perspective and to positively envision a victorious outcome just as they might a discouraging one.
Often times, hopelessness arises from the absence of certainty. Since we now understand certainty to be nothing more than an illusion we can feel liberated rather than discouraged! If there is no certainty – you have nothing to fear. GO FOR IT! Those who are successful are not only the people who have failed multiple times, they are the same brave souls who recognize there are no guarantees! That success is a process and failure is a requirement for success.
When one can accept these truths; that failure is a prerequisite for success and that certainty is an illusion, they are likely to find the route to success much more enjoyable and ‘arrive’ far more quickly.
You are encouraged to move forward bravely. To use your powers of imagination to aid you in the attainment of your goals and not to let fear or uncertainty prevent your from taking those critical initial steps. (see Belief Tree post below).
~MWS
P.S. This will be the last month to download the full version of “The 3 C’s of SUCCCESS” the success ebook at no cost. The Book is going to print next month and the download version will then be abreviated. Be sure to download and share the link with your loved ones while the full copy is available at no cost.
All the best. Enjoy!
The Belief Tree: Why Success is Binary
“Whether you think you can or you can’t, you are right.”
~Henry Ford
This quote, in my estimation, may be Ford’s best invention. Perhaps, even better than his invention of the automobile for mass production.
It explains succinctly, and yet very accurately, the vital role of BELIEF in the workings of your life. You simply can’t be successful in any endeavor if you don’t first start with the proper mindset – a belief in your ultimate success.
Yes, your mindset – how you view the world and your place within it -and your belief “system” (related paradigm) control your ability to reach your intended target. And, here’s the kicker–FROM THE VERY START!
Our core beliefs fall into two MASTER categories which are not unlike the core underlying “boot” records in computer terminology – which are called Master Boot Records.
(excerpt “SUCCCESS, The 3 C’s”, The Success eBook by Mitch W. Steel) If we follow that analogy and apply it to our belief systems – we have essentially two Master Belief Records (MBRs) that affect our lives and determine our ultimate destiny. These would be 1) Our Self-Belief Record “SBR” (essentially, self-esteem) and 2) Our External Belief-Record “EBR”. That is, how you regard everything you encounter external to your self.
The successful person recognizes the power of these two beliefs – she becomes aware of their importance and how to manipulate them to her advantage. She understands that how she views herself – her SBR, essentially sets her level of achievement and what she deems achievable in her life. Similarly, her EBR determines how she views her external world (friendly or oppressive) and this too begins to define her place in that world and what she is likely to experience in her external world.
Possessing the awareness to recognize that you are the only one who establishes and sets up your Master Belief Records which then ultimately define your life’s outcome- is an essential first step to setting up the “rules” that allow you to “WIN” or “Lose” the game of life. The great news is, should you come to recognize your Master Belief Records are not currently setup in a fashion that allows you to win – you have the ability to reset them anytime you’d like!
Consider that the world offers us countless examples of people who, as they must, self-actualize their Master Belief Records – their core belief systems. These two critical existential vantage points- how people view themselves and how they view the world – literally control and direct the manifestation of everything they are able to realize – including their success.
Here again, the simple reveals the profound. If I believe people are not going to help me become successful – what type of people might I expect to see in my life? If I think people are always looking to take advantage of me? What type of people might I expect to see in my life? If I’m concerned people only want my money and aren’t interested in being my friend – what type of people might I see in my life? In each case I’ve directed my ATTENTION and FOCUS in a way that makes “winning” the game near impossible.
Yes, your Master Belief Records affect everything!
If I were to setup my external MBR with its most fundamental “root” belief – “people are selfish”. This leads to the sub-binary belief then that people are not likely to help me when I need it most or perhaps when I’m looking for a job. As you can see – this establishes a “game” that is nearly un-winnable or at the very least – makes it extremely hard to win.
Our beliefs allow us to arrange the associated thoughts in a fashion that makes “winning” possible or impossible. It is your choice.
Above, you’ve seen a simple diagram to help illustrate this binary relationship. It is literally called the “GAME TREE” – and demonstrates how a software programmer has offered the binary consequences within the game-program. In other words, what a winning set of binary combinations (decisions/choices) might be. These binary beliefs either setup the player to win or lose. Or, in our case, to realize her ideal future or not.
Whether we know it or not, as we establish our Master Belief Records they then generate sub beliefs which all eventually lead us down a path that is either a successful outcome or one filled with disillusionment and frustration.
Sadly, so many people actually start this “game” of life- believing they don’t have a shot. Or, more accurately, through continued “failures” and disappointments- become disillusioned and then create self-defeating Master Belief Records. The successful people though are those who believe (and this is the kicker) that life is a “winnable” game from the outset!
So, is this life a winnable “game”?
You tell me.
——————-
PS: just noted from John Lennon’s Dream #9
“There’s magic in the air…
I Believe, I Believe…
more I can not say
so, what more can I say?”
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11 Mindful Ways To Remove Stress For Good
photo: mikebaird – flickr
post by Mitch W. Steel
What do you do?” he asked, wondering how I manage stress. I must have had a mouth full of food “meditate”, I told him. He nodded his head knowingly and said – “right, which ones?” I looked at him strangely. “What?” I said. He then said, “What kind of medications do you take?” I quickly chuckled. Then realizing the serious nature of his misunderstanding…
“No man MEDITATE, not MEDICATE” I said.
One of the most common requests I get is from people asking for ways to better manage stress. These are stressful times – OILflation combined with the remnants of a housing bubble aren’t making it any easier for anyone!
The other day, I was having lunch with a very successful fortune 500 executive (mid acquisition). Frankly, this great man was stressed beyond belief as company politics had him a state of fear. He was concerned about some “higher-ups” and some moves they may make.
As previously mentioned, I fully recognize these are stressful times. Truthfully though, have there ever been any times that weren’t stressful? I mean, do you not think World War II was a stressful time? Or Vietnam, or ???. Look, seeking the answer in a bottle or pill can NOT be THE answer! It’s AN answer and it’s the wrong one. (Thanks Woody). The answer, as always, is in responsibility and mindful self-control.
Our lunch conversation proceeded into a discussion where I reviewed a handful of the techniques shared below.
#1: MOVE IT
Go for a run or go for a walk, but just go! “Motion creates emotion” -Tony Robbins. Move to get out of your own head. A body at rest stays at rest. What you need is a different perspective simply exercising and creating some endorphins helps to creates a favorable mental state. Tell me the last time you saw a depressed runner?
#2: MEDITATE
My experience tells me that if you sit quietly for a minimum of just 3 minutes reflecting on all the good in your life you will have removed the stress immediately. If you are saying right now – “there is no good.” You need (as the old man used to say) your head screwed on tight! For starters, you are reading this so your eyes work, last time I checked, you were FREE to do as you pleased, (statistics tell me the majority of you are from the US) you’re using a computer that is tapped into the vast knowledge of the world. Chances are you can probably type and write, hear, see, smell, walk, etc. I’d imagine you have family and friends… etc. (remember, to have friends you need to be a friend). But I digress. The point is, to relieve stress meditating on all the good in your life – what you are thankful for is very helpful.
Here are just a couple processes. Just repeat quietly in your head ” I’m thankful for …” Or, “I’m grateful for…” or “God Bless…my eyesight, my hearing ….”Again, go through your personal list, sitting quietly with your eyes closed and your back straight. I do this on my knees, some people cross their legs – either way works. Some people like to lie down, however, some tend to fall asleep. Another terrific process is to mentally navigate your body. To go through in your mind and touch your toes, travel with the blood through our heart to your fingertips – up through you head, into your brain, etc. This helps you to recognize and be grateful for your body, your health. Finally, finish your three minutes with a minute of visualization of how great your day will be and how the events of the day will unfold in your favor. See all the things you need to get done today getting finished without hassle.
#3: NO NEWS IS TRULY GOOD NEWS
This should be easy! Do not watch any news for a week. I promise, this won’t kill you. Quite the contrary actually. The news today is designed for drama – the more fear they can instill in the viewers- the higher the ratings! It has become comical. Just last night, Larry King had this poor CEO of Chevron – blasting him for the “billions in profits.” The news is absolutely loving the oil price run up. If i see another “live action” shot of a person filling up his tank my TV is gone!
#4: WORST CASE
To manage stress – many times the best path is to actually follow the worst case scenario. This is always a good exercise. If you can’t shake the fear- embrace it, go with it. Just ask these questions; what would have to happen to have this fear realized? what other events would have to happen? What is the order it would have to happen in? What is the related timeframe? Often times, when a situation is put into that perspective – people realize some pretty unrealistic events would have to happen in a set sequence to realize their worst case and this helps to remove the stress. Also, it really helps to know that if you have the FREE things; health, integrity, family and friends – everything else is secondary and even a “worst case” scenario is manageable!
#5: INTEREST
Zig Ziglar likes to say, FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. I’ve also heard it said that fear is paying interest on a loan you are not even sure you’re going to have. Both suggest the same thing – fear is simply the projection of a future condition which need NOT affect your present situation. Do you want to pay interest on a loan you don’t even have?
#6: YODA
“Fear is the path to the dark side, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” Who wants to be led to suffering? Not me – thank you. Yes, as always, the simple is the profound.
#7: CONTROL
How many things do you control? (We’ll leave this for the comments section and allow you all to answer later)
#8: DETACH
Stop trying to control the office politics, your boyfriend, the traffic, your friend, girl fiend, etc. Detach. Let them take the house (i know, easy for me to say) but, consider for a moment the freedom – that comes with that statement. what happens to the stress when you say, “take it”. This was shared with a close colleague of mine who was stressed beyond belief. He did lose his home about 5 months ago. today he’s happier than he’s been in a long time. The stress about losing the home – was far greater then the actual event. Ed side note: since this is likely effecting a lot of people. They were smart and came to the lender proactively – worked on a deal. However, they were unable to short sell. But, they were forthcoming and didn’t run or hide from the lenders. Ultimately they detached and were free from the stress.
#9: ONE SONG
(see picture above) Walk outside- down the street, to a park on the beach. watch the birds – stare at a tree or a flower – recognize the UNI-verse (one song) is in play. It is all working on its own timetable. The tree isn’t stressed it isn’t going to get water tomorrow. you shouldn’t be either.
#10: PERSPECTIVE
take a step back. recognize all the other times you thought you were doomed. You remember, you were in such a mess you thought there was no way out – you’d never get a job that good, or meet another person or…. and, you made it out just fine. Perspective always helps in cases of stress by removing the tunnel vision.
#11: PRAY
Finally, as Keb Mo likes to say “hand it over, get on your knees and pray”. Combined with meditating makes for a powerful calming force. Remember, meditating is listening. Prayer is talking. Since you have two ears and one mouth you should meditate twice as much as you pray.
Be sure to share your tips and comments for others.
Enjoy a happy, stress free fourth. May you be independent of FEAR and responsible for Freedom in all her forms
~MWS
Loser!?
photo: courtesy Flickr – by Ingorrr
Excerpt from “The 3C’s” The Ebook
by Mitch W. Steel
“There are two ways to live: You can live as if nothing is a miracle; or, you can live as if everything is a miracle.”
Albert Einstein
Either everything is a miracle or nothing is. So which is it?
That is a question you ought to dwell upon for a good, long while. For, it suggests that if you consider ANYTHING a miracle – then, everything ought to be considered such. And, since you don’t have answers to everything – this would suggest then that everything is indeed a miracle. Taken one step further then – you (my brother or sister) are part of everything. Therefore, you are a miracle! You are NO loser!
As reviewed earlier with the second “C” character, your self image/self esteem must be high enough for you to believe that you are a miracle–that you are indeed a worthy contributor to society. This high self-esteem will help you to finish your projects and overcome any “FEAR.”
A great place to start with that self-concept is to ensure your Master Belief Record (internal), as reviewed earlier is in proper working order. It helps greatly to recognize the series of fantastic events that had to take place just for you to “arrive” on this planet at this time!
Don’t think your life is a miracle?
Here’s another perspective – don’t take my word for it, consider for a moment… how many ridiculous circumstances and events had to occur in just the right sequence for you to be here right now–to even exist. What had to happen for YOU to exist? What events transpired?
If you can’t already site the bizarre series of events that led to your parents meeting then go ask them for the story. They’ll probably tell you that “had it not been for the traffic” . . . “had I never taken that job offer . . . “ “taken the trip out of town … “ they never would have met–and you (yes you my friend) would never have been “CREATED”! Conservatively stated, that is indeed a minor miracle!
Now let’s take a few steps back–or should I say way . . . way back. Let’s take a look at our very planet, Earth. Do you realize that at the very moment that you’re reading this, our planet is spinning on its axis at approximately 7,000 miles per hour? I recommend you stop and consider that statement one more time. Then, just for fun, consider at the very same time, we’re rotating around the sun at nearly 67,000 mph.
Simply based on either of those two remarkable facts alone, how can you think your existence is anything but extraordinary? A remarkable gift indeed – an unexplainable miracle. This is what Einstein is referring to when he suggests that you can either look at everything as a miracle or nothing. There is no in-between. You are no mistake. Again, you are NO loser.
Yes, the interesting thing here – this is a MBR – a master belief record – so if you caught that congratulations. As you can see, sadly, there are people who believe they are a “mistake” or a “loser”. The incredible thing is that is their “choice”. THEY have elected to BELIEVE they are a “mistake” or a “loser”. So, my friend, if this is your choice… why not choose the “miracle” – you chose the belief and the meaning that directs every other related belief.
This is the sort evidence you ought to use to bolster your belief system and help you battle through your daily challenges to ensure you stay the course and complete your mission. And, as any “miracle” might suggest you therefore have a moral imperative and obligation to follow through—to complete your creative desires – to fulfill your ideal future!
